Page 7 of Watch Over Me

The thought brought James comfort, like always, but there was something else now, too—something he didn't know how to name.

* * *

Sunday meant a pick-up basketball game with a bunch of guys from KRK, so James decided to skip his morning run and let himself lounge in bed for a while.

He tried to remember what he'd been dreaming about,but the vague memories slipped away when he chased them. It might have been something involving Eddie's office and Ryan, but he wasn't sure. He could only hope Ryan wasn't going to start nagging him about Eddie in his dreams now.

Thankfully, Eddie wasn't one for sports, so he never joined their Sunday games, keeping the work hangouts to the barbecues at Kalei's place or occasional beer after work in a smaller group.

Guilt rose uncomfortably in James's chest at the thought. He'd never beengratefulEddie wasn't going to be at the same place he was—quite the opposite, actually.

James rolled onto the side and hid his head in his pillow as he cursed his partner under his breath. Ryan was single, too, and yet James wasn't trying to set him up with anyone at the office. The least the guy could do was return the favor.

To be fair, Ryan did go out on dates from time to time. Mostly first dates, and an occasional second or third that never panned out as anything serious, but he did try. James, on the other hand, had given up on the notion a long time ago. The idea of seeking a person out, whether in person or through the Internet, made his skin crawl. Hooking up at a bar was different—and he would freely admit to doing that every once in a while—since it was never anything more than sex. Meanwhile, trying to impress a guy enough to have a date with him, and then impress him again to score another, was truly awful. Even his empty house was a better alternative.

Ryan could never understand that, since he wished for a true, lasting connection, but for James, what he had was enough to be content. Maybe not happy, exactly, but happy enough.

Because the friends he could count on, the job he enjoyed, the safe work environment—it was more than he'd grown used to expect. He'd thought he had it before, but he'd been wrong, so to experience it now, and to feel secure in knowing that this time,it wasn't a sham, felt priceless. There was no offer any other company could make to convince him to leave KRK behind. There was also not a date, or a romantic prospect, or whatever out there that could interest him enough to give up his time in the comm center with Eddie.

James was a creature of habit and of simple comforts. Once upon a time, he had no comforts to speak of, then some others turned out to be a lie. So he learned to cling to those few that were true, now. It didn't make him a coward, only a realist. No matter what other people thought.

Eddie got it, though. James smiled into the pillow at the memory of that big grin at the sight of coffee in his hand, of the protein bar offered in exchange, of the quiet invitation to sleep if he needed to. Eddie understood the importance of small things.

He understood James.

And that meant everything.

Did James sometimes watch Eddie and wonder what it would be like to lean in and kiss him, feel those lips against his? To see Eddie in his bed, naked and wanting him, or even to wake up in the morning, with his head on a pillow next to Eddie's? Sure, he'd thought about it.

But were those fantasies enough of a reason to risk everything he did have?

No. No, they weren't.

His cock stirred, clearly interested in some of his ideas, despite what his brain had decided. James sighed into his pillow before flopping onto his back and pushing his hand inside his sleeping pants.

He might as well, now.

He tried not to think about Eddie, though, picturing some of his previous partners instead, then drifting to some faceless images as he picked up speed. But what pushed him over the edge was the sudden flash of memory of opening his eyes in thecomm center, still half-asleep, and seeing thatlookEddie got, the one James wanted to never, ever forget.

Would Eddie watch him the same way now, if he was here?

James came with a quiet grunt, pressing his feet to the mattress and arching his back as his body tingled with pleasure, his mind blissfully blank.

* * *

A Supreme Court Justice and a senator sitting on the sidelines of their games was supposed to stop being weird at some point, but it had been a while now and the weirdness hadn't worn off yet. Seeing them at Kalei's barbecues had become more normal, but this? Not so much.

James admitted that to Ryan when he thought nobody else was listening, but it was Martinez who answered, turning towards them.

"It's way worse at the poker nights, believe me. It definitely took me a while."

"Stop flaunting, already," Ryan told him, tongue in cheek. "We're aware you know some important people, it's okay."

"Years ago, he was just like us—a grunt," Dave said in a dramatic voice from the other bench. "Now, he sleeps with Justice, and plays cards with Law and Order. He's the shit."

Martinez snorted. "No one's Order at that table. Unless Jeremy here counts."

"I don't," Jeremy said before turning to James. "It takes a while, but you do get used to it."

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