Page 22 of Find Me Again

"That's a good idea," his mom offered quietly, clasping her hand on his shoulder.

When Neil looked up, his dad nodded.

"I think so, too. That way it all happens on your terms."

If it was to happen on his terms, Neil most likely wouldn't come out before the end of his career. He had considered it from time to time, sure, but he'd always talked himself out of it, neverfeeling ready.

He still wasn't ready now, but he would just have to suck it up.

"We're going to be there for you every step of the way, okay?" His mom squeezed his shoulder. "Whatever you need, we'll help."

Neil swallowed hard. A week ago, he'd had no idea they even knew he was gay, and now, they were rallying behind him and offering full support.

"Thanks," he whispered, then cleared his throat. "Thank you."

"Nothing to thank us for." His dad's voice got a bit gruff. "That's what we're here for, after all."

Neil pressed his fingers over his eyes again to stop himself from crying. He'd known his parents were good people, he'd known they loved him, but he'd never… He'd never beensurehow they'd react. He'd hoped, yes. But he'd pictured many different scenarios, and there had been quite a few that had gone vastly different than this.

Once he got himself together again, he glanced between them.

"Still, thank you. It means a lot."

His dad nodded and sat back. "Do you know how you are going to do this?"

Neil shook his head. "I haven't thought that far yet. I mean, I'll have to call Phil and the management—"

"You don't need their permission," his mom cut in, and Neil sighed.

"I do owe them the heads-up, though, so they can prepare. They know about me, which means it's not going to be a shock, at least." He grimaced at the memory of those uncomfortable conversations with his agent and the team management a few years back. "But since they're going to be fielding questions, hatecomments, threats of boycotts, and God knows what else, the least I can do is to let them know."

"We simply don't want you to think you have to do a referendum on it or anything." His dad crossed his arms against his chest. "It's your life and your decision."

"It's not a referendum," Neil assured him. "It's more of a courtesy call."

His dad looked like he wanted to say more, but Neil suddenly felt like he reached his limits. His emotions were all over the place and he would either start crying or shouting any second now.

"I'm sorry, I—" He got up. "I need to be alone right now. Thank you for—all of this, but. Yeah. I'll go."

He quickly walked out of the kitchen, afraid they were going to stop him, then he closed the door to his room and leaned heavily against it, resting his forehead there with a soft thud and letting himself just breathe for a minute.

Nothing else. Just breathe.

CHAPTER TEN

"Holidays, vacations, sure, fine, but we miss you," James said, and Eddie nodded next to him on the small screen of Ryan's phone.

"This one is insufferable, really." He nudged James. "You need to come back."

Ryan laughed, even as the warmth spread in his chest at the same time.

"Aww, that's sweet, but no can do. I'm staying here until New Year's."

"Ugh, fine." James sighed. "You could at least tell us you miss us, too, you know?"

"Well, I did miss you… before we started talking." Ryan chuckled at his friends' faces. "Okay, fine, I may be missing you, still."

James leaned back on the couch. "You better."

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