Page 23 of Find Me Again

"Yeah, remember who handles all your equipment," Eddie added, settling under James's shoulder.

Ryan rolled onto his stomach on the bed and positioned his phone better.

"That's harassment, you know?"

"Nothing more than a friendly advice," Eddie countered, then tilted his head to the side. "Are you doing okay out there? You seem a little off."

Ryan opened his mouth to deny it, but James narrowed his eyes, giving him his don't-bullshit-me look, so Ryan paused and shifted gears.

"I'm fine. It's been weird, a bit, but it's also good. There's a bunch of my family around, folks I haven't seen in a while. And you know how it is, the grandparents may not be around formuch longer, so it's extra important to spend time with them."

"That's nice, but there's obviously something else." Eddie paused and pulled back from his boyfriend a bit. "If you want to talk to James alone, I can—"

"No!" Ryan sighed. "No, it's not that, it's… There's nothing wrong, exactly."

James nodded as he pulled Eddie back to lean against him. "So what is it, then?"

"Like I said, weird. Seeing my first boyfriend after twelve years kind of weird."

"Uh-oh," James muttered, and Eddie raised his eyebrows.

"I assume it's not a feel-good story?"

Ryan chuckled humorlessly. He wished.

"Not really, no. We were best friends for years before we got together in high school, although no one knew about that second part. We did almost everything together and had plans to go to the same college, but then he changed his mind and dumped me our senior year, so I lost a boyfriend and a best friend in one swoop."

"That sucks, I'm sorry," Eddie offered softly.

"Yeah, it wasn't pretty. Now we're both here, visiting family at the same time, and I bumped into him in our old spot. Feels surreal, that's all."

"I bet," James said. "Was he alone or—"

"Yeah, he was on his own. And I think he's single, I'd know if he wasn't." The whole country would know, unless Neil had hidden the guy really well, which wasn't an option Ryan wanted to think too much about. "He's still in the closet, either way. That I know for sure."

Eddie scrunched his nose. "At least he didn't do the cliched wife-and-kids thing, right? I know it's no comfort, but…"

"No, that is actually somewhat comforting." Ryan rested his head on his crossed arms. "I'd hate for him to take it to thatlevel, because he's not even bi. Any time I hear a story like that, I find it heartbreakingly sad, and I wouldn't want that for him."

"You're a good guy."

Ryan gave Eddie a crooked smile.

"Nah, I wouldn't wish that for anybody, really."

"Have you talked to him at all? Or simply nodded his way and hightailed out of there?"

There was no judgment in James's tone, which Ryan appreciated.

"I was tempted to run away, but we did have a conversation. It wasn't bad—or particularly good, for that matter. I don't know. It was mostly just weird."

After a few seconds of silence, James asked, "Would you prefer not to see him?"

"No." That, at least, Ryan was certain of. "No, I'm glad it happened. I don't have to wonder anymore what it would be like, you know?"

His friends both nodded.

"But now that it did, I keep replaying it in my head and thinking about him, and that's not—" He shrugged. "Nothing good can come out of it, really."

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