Page 33 of Find Me Again

Good.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"I wouldn't mind finding out how it goes. With the—the coming out and all."

It probably took the entire walk back to his parents' house before Ryan stopped blushing, but the words were still looping in his head.

"I wouldn't mind finding out how it goes."

And it had been going so well until then. After a rocky start, they'd found their groove and made their way through a hard conversation, and, sure, at the end there they'd been dangerously close to flirting, but for him to—

Damn it.

As the family house came into view, Ryan straightened and forced himself to focus on the facts. This had been a conversation between old friends about something that would have serious ramifications in Neil's life. That was it. Ryan didn't need to toss anything else in there.

Still, he was honestly curious how it was all going to play out. Neil was never going to be simply another person from Ryan's past, or worse, another celebrity. Ryan was going to wonder and worry either way, so it would be best to stay informed, if only to know what to worry about, precisely.

Because Neil was going to come out.

It hit Ryan once again, right as he was clearing the steps to his parents' porch, and he had to grab the railing to steady himself. He leaned against it and stared at the front lawn, unseeing.

Neil was really going to do it. He would no longer have to hide or pretend.

Forget about making history, Neil Hopkins was the firstboy Ryan had ever kissed, the first one he'd fallen for and planned the future with. His ultimate One That Got Away.

And while Ryan had every right to be hurt, and angry, and sad—and God knew he'd used that right many times in the past—he would never not want this for Neil, who deserved to be true to who he was, no matter what. Ryan didn't like that it was a forced coming out, of course, but this was a chance for Neil to get this off his chest and prove to the world what had always been true—that he could be an amazing player regardless of who he slept with or loved.

Once the news broke, Neil would get support from many different sources, ranging from his parents to some of the fans out there, and more than likely, Ryan's reassurances would drown in all the rest. But that was okay.

It was way better than the alternative.

Startling at the sound of knocking on the glass, he turned to see his mom on the other side of the window, gesturing for him to get inside.

He nodded and headed to the door, only pausing when he heard the text message come in.

So, a question. Can we talk about something other than my coming out, too?

The wide grin split Ryan's face in half, the giddiness bubbling in his chest.

Sure, he typed with an unsteady hand and hit send before he could start overthinking it.

It was already too late to be careful, anyway.

* * *

His phone stayed silent the rest of the evening, which was probably for the best, because his mom was throwing him enough pointed looks that he was sure she would've dragged himout to the kitchen in order to interrogate him if she saw him texting with a silly grin on his face.

For now, he was safe because of the full house of guests, so he busied himself with entertaining them. Or educating, like with his teenage cousin, who needed some facts about the history of Afghanistan and the US presence there, because apparently the teacher was feeding the class some bullshit straight out of the military recruitment propaganda. But Ryan also played chess with his grandpa, helped his aunt and uncle do some last minute on-line shopping, and made back and forth trips to the kitchen, never staying for long. Since his aunt and grandma were there alongside his mother, he wasn't needed for the prep, which, in this case, definitely worked in his favor.

He knew there was a parental pep talk looming ahead, but he wanted to push it as far away as possible. It didn't even matter if his parents would be pro or against Neil. Ryan would rather not hear either side.

After all, he'd grown smarter over the years and learned to keep his expectations in check, so there was no one better than him at trashing his Neil-related fantasies. On the other hand, he also didn't need any encouragement to start believing in some fairytale scenario where everything was easy and nothing hurt.

And while Ryan did want to see how things would play out moving forward—both with Neil's coming out and with the two of them—he'd prefer not to talk to his family about it. Ever.

Later in the evening, when he was back at his brother's place, showered and getting ready for an early night in bed, his phone pinged with a text notification.

He rushed from the bathroom and grabbed his phone, only to find a text from James.

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