Page 37 of Find Me Again

He stepped away only to grab Ryan's arm and pull him with him. They scrambled inside, Ryan first and Neil fast following, and soon he was tugging off his outer clothes and then helping Ryan to get rid of his. When the hats, scarfs, and jackets were discarded, and, even more importantly, so were the gloves, Neil straddled Ryan and pressed close, as close as he could, tangling his arms around Ryan's neck and kissing him again, already missing the taste.

Being well over six foot tall, Neil wasn't used to sitting in anyone's lap, but there was something heady about it, about towering over Ryan while also being kept like this, like he weighted nothing. Like he wasn't more than Ryan could handle—on the contrary, even. Ryan seemed to be giving him a free reign, signalingcome on, have at itwith enthusiasm and maybe even some of the same hunger Neil was feeling, too.

They kissed as if it was the last time they'd ever be allowed this pleasure. Neil wanted to hear all the sounds coming out of Ryan's mouth forever, he wanted them on a loop anytime he was jacking off. They both whispered things likeyes, andgod, andfuck, but it was mostly sighs, and groans, and a loud moan he hadn't held back when Ryan gnawed at the shell of his ear, sending shivers down every part of his body.

Neil hit his head on the roof twice before deciding they should move, but he promised himself that when—if—they would get themselves into a bed, he would insist on revisitingthis position. For now, they detangled themselves enough to have Neil half-lying, half-sitting sideways on the seats and Ryan hovering above him, pressing his groin against Neil's and rubbing—

"Fuck." Neil clasped his hand hard on Ryan's shoulder. "I'm not gonna last if you keep doing that."

"That's the idea," Ryan told him, lips brushing against his neck, but he pulled back enough to unfasten his jeans, then Neil's.

The moment he ran the back of his fingers along Neil's erection, Neil was arching from his seat, seeking contact.

"Please, just, anything," he panted as he grasped the back of Ryan's neck.

Ryan seemed equally impatient, because he shifted and pressed their naked cocks together before taking them both in hand. He couldn't get a good grip around—another sign that they'd grown since the last time they'd done this—but they were both too desperate to care. They pressed, and pushed, and fell into a rhythm that brought Neil over the edge in no time.

Breathless, he grabbed Ryan's chin to pull him into a kiss right when he came as well, spilling in the small space between them and moaning into Neil's mouth.

Yes. This.

Perfect.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

As Ryan fell onto him, completely spent, Neil grunted at the weight, but since he was still coming down from the high, he didn't seem to mind. He might even like it, if the way he slipped a hand into the back of Ryan's jeans and grabbed his ass to keep him close was any indication.

And Ryan let himself enjoy it all for the time being—the pleasure buzzing under his skin, the ease of his relaxed muscles, and the way Neil smelled, like cedarwood and warm skin, tempting Ryan to taste it, to lick into every dip of Neil's body and chase his scent.

He sighed, pleased with himself and the world, and felt Neil laughing under him before any sound escaped Neil's lips.

"I agree," Neil whispered into his hair and squeezed his ass in a way that really shouldn't be sexy.

And yet.

Scrunching his nose at the mess they were lying in, Ryan finally lifted himself reluctantly on all fours, careful not to fall off the seat, and looked at Neil, who was lying under him without care in the world, smiling softly and openly, as if nothing existed outside of this. Of them.

Which was a nice sentiment, even if completely untrue.

Ryan wasn't willing to snap out of it yet, though, determined to enjoy it while it lasted. He was in it already, after all. He might as well not sour it for himself by worrying and overthinking.

When he leaned in to press a short kiss against Neil's mouth, it turned into a slow and lazy slide of tongues, sloppy because of how wide their smiles were.

Way too soon, the clean-up became a necessity, however,so Ryan pulled away again and considered his options. He didn't want to destroy his hat or scarf, but they needed something to wipe themselves off—

"There should be wet tissues behind you in the door compartment," Neil told him, then added after a pause, "I went with my parents to pick up the Christmas tree a few days ago, and our hands were covered in resin and dirt."

Ah. Made sense. While Ryan had no right to wonder about any of the things—or encounters—his mind had initially pointed him to, it was still a relief to be proven wrong.

He wished it wasn't so, but that was a problem for another day.

Wet tissues definitely helped with the clean-up, even if it took some work to get them out of the packet, which was glued together with the resin. And Neil wasn't helping at all, instead running his hands up and down Ryan's thighs and distracting him.

Then they sat there, cleaned up and tucked back into their jeans, facing each other, and Ryan had no idea what to say.

It was Neil who leaned in, slowly, obviously giving him an out Ryan had no intention of taking. When their lips met again, he sighed into it, and let Neil lead.

There was no urgency in the kiss now, but there was still hunger, still a quest for more.

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