Page 40 of Find Me Again

"Fair point," Neil admitted. "We're not kids anymore."

Ryan's eyes flashed with something—a longing, maybe—and Neil could almost taste the bittersweetness of it all.

For better or worse, they were different people now.

"Can we…?" he whispered, unsure how to say it, but Ryan smiled up at him, with that soft and understanding smile Neilhadn't seen in twelve years and thought he never would.

"Yeah," Ryan offered in a whisper, too, and Neil's heart threatened to give out.

"You don't even know what I'm asking."

Ryan lifted one eyebrow. "It's still a yes."

Neil had to kiss him for that. He had to. His chest was aching, overflowing, and he'd never—

He'd thought he lost his chance for such easy trust the moment he'd broken them by turning his back on everything they'd built and everything they'd been.

And here Ryan was, trusting him anyway.

"It's still a yes."

Breathless, Neil pulled away from the kiss, resting his forehead against Ryan's.

"You're a marvel."

"Don't you forget it."

Ryan's tone was flippant, joking, but Neil shook his head.

"Never," he said, a promise that felt bigger than just this, but he couldn't quite tell what he meant.

He sat back instead, and leaned towards the nightstand to get lube and a condom before remembering that this wasn't Ryan's usual bed but a guest room in someone else's house.

"Oh, they're there," Ryan told him with a roll of his eyes. "My brother left them for me to find. He thinks he's funny."

"Well, I can't say I hate the results." Neil took out the supplies before shifting to straddle Ryan instead of kneeling between his legs. "This okay?"

"Better than." Ryan put his hands on Neil's thighs and ran them up slowly until he settled them on Neil's hips. "You'll look amazing on my cock."

Flashing Ryan a grin, Neil got lube on his fingers. "It's going to feel amazing, too."

"I have no doubts about that."

Then there was no more talking, only harsh breaths and quiet moans getting louder as the time went on. Neil stretched himself as fast as he could, but he lowered himself on Ryan's cock slowly, needing to get used to the stretch.

It had been a long time, after all.

"I was right," Ryan finally said, as Neil leaned in for a kiss and gasped at the change of angle. "You do look amazing like this."

"I was right, too." Neil tightened his muscles around Ryan, earning himself another moan. "And then some."

Because"amazing"wasn't really enough to describe it—to encompass how good it felt to be with Ryan like this, fall into a rhythm right away, and get lost in the pleasure that stretched beyond what Neil had thought was possible.

The rush of it was like nothing he'd ever felt—on or off the ice.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Ryan woke up slowly, and a part of him wished to slip right under, but the feeling of being too hot nagged him into consciousness. It wasn't the covers, since he kicked them lower at some point, but there was something—

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