Page 41 of Find Me Again

Someone, Ryan realized.A very specific someone.

Neil was currently plastered all along his back, with his arm resting around Ryan's waist and his head pressed to Ryan's nape. Their legs were tangled together, and as Ryan shifted, he smiled at the simple pleasure of feeling the brush of skin against skin, coarse and soft, and the hard muscles in Neil's thigh keeping him down.

They'd spent twelve years apart, but even before that, whenever they'd slept over at each other's houses, they'd stayed on their sides of the bed. And yet, for whatever reason, it felt both unreal and the most real thing ever to wake up with Neil like this—to be anchored with him to this bed, this place, and this moment that could, possibly, stretch into an untold length of time.

Or end the moment Neil freaks out.

Ryan opened his eyes and stared at the nightstand, focusing on the crooked knob of the drawer as he fought the unease in his stomach. It could all end in a minute, or a week, or whenever one of them would board the flight back home, so he definitely shouldn't waste his time wondering about anything long-term. That had never served him right.

Besides, it would be way too early—twelve years late in some respects, but also too early.

For all that he felt drawn to Neil and to the ease of their connection once they'd let each other back in, Ryan didn't knowNeil's life right now. He didn't know who Neil was, who he was friends with, what he did in his spare time. Had fame changed him in ways Ryan wouldn't find acceptable? And what would happen once Neil came out? Would Ryan even want to get involved in all that?

He had no easy answers, but when he lay there and stared at the knob as the light coming from the window expanded into the room more and more, he remembered the answer he'd given Neil last night.

"Yeah."

"You don't even know what I'm asking."

"It's still a yes."

And it was. An ongoing agreement, one that Ryan could back out of at any point but also didn't have to, if he didn't feel like it.

For now, he was in, whether it was for today or for the next week and a half. He was in, whether they were going to say goodbye to each other for good or keep their options open for something long distance.

As long as Ryan got to have this, right now, he was going to be fine. So he might as well enjoy it.

In the next second, he felt Neil shifting against him, his grip tightening briefly around Ryan's waist as a soft kiss landed on the back of Ryan's neck.

Oh yeah, he was going to enjoy this.

He smiled into the pillow as Neil slid his hand down the hair trail on Ryan's stomach right into his boxers before cupping Ryan's already hardening cock.

"Good morning," Ryan murmured, angling his hips to push towards the light grip.

Neil squeezed him gently and dropped another kiss on his nape.

"Good morning, indeed."

Soon enough, Ryan was alternating between pressing forward into Neil's hand and then back to where Neil was sliding his cock between his ass cheeks as he whispered dirty nothings into Ryan's ear. Their rhythm was slow, almost lazy, and Ryan got swept into it, closing his hands into fists as he clutched his pillow. While he didn't say anything, little shaky moans left his mouth every once in a while, especially when Neil did that thing with his thumb that made Ryan's cock almost hurt from how good it felt.

"Just like that, huh?" Neil was saying. "You like it, don't you?"

"Yeah." Ryan's voice came out shaky, too, and he had to swallow hard. "How about you?" he asked, pressing back.

A part of Ryan wanted Neil to slip right into him, even though it was a bad idea. His ass ached, he wasn't stretched enough, and he didn't want to deal with the cleanup—all valid reasons not to do it.

Still, it would've been—

Fuuck.

Neil tightened his grip on Ryan's cock right before he came against Ryan's ass and lower back, and Ryan hid his face in the pillow as he snapped his hips twice more, then followed Neil over the edge, splashing come all over his hand.

He was still catching his breath when Neil pulled away, murmuring, "Be right back."

Ryan blinked his eyes open right in time to see Neil heading for the bathroom, naked and unselfconscious. Relaxed.

Good.

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