Page 51 of Find Me Again

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As soon as Ryan got into Neil's car, he could tell Neil was calmer than he sounded over the phone. Not calm, exactly, but still far from the nervous wreck he could've been.

"I feel like I'm about to play the last game in the finals, and I suddenly have no idea how to even get onto the ice," Neil said in greeting, and Ryan took a moment to consider his reply.

"I'm pretty sure most of the hard work is behind you now, so it's the last period of that game, if anything."

Neil snorted as he headed towards the hill. "I wish."

Not wanting to discuss the semantics, Ryan changed gears.

"How was it? The interviewer, I mean, and the others?"

"They did not see that coming, that's for sure. They were ready with the usual 'hometown idol returning for Christmas' kinds of questions, not this. They were professional about it, though. Even thanked me, after, for choosing their platform to share." Neil shook his head. "It was weird but fine, so I'm counting that as a win."

"It sounds like a win, yeah."

They got up onto the hill less than ten minutes before the interview, but then they simply sat there, waiting. Once again, Ryan was taken aback with how much calmer Neil seemed—as if most of the tension he'd been carrying for weeks suddenly disappeared. Could that be only from the weight of his secret no longer dragging him down?

"Listen, for what it's worth—" Ryan started, but the song on the radio ended and the intro to the afternoon show began playing.

"Hello, everyone, welcome to our show. I'm your host, Gabriel Ferrera, and I hope you're having a good time and you're not in a food coma yet, because today's show may be the biggest surprise you've got this holiday season. We're talking to one of our local sport heroes, Neil Hopkins, and, in his own words, he's been more honest in this interview than ever before. You do not want to miss it. But first, the word from our sponsors—"

"This is weird," Neil muttered, staring at the radio. "It's not like I don't know what happens, and the suspense is still killing me."

"Do you listen to your interviews often?"

Neil shook his head. "More like never. I tried, at first, so I could learn from it, but I couldn't sit through them for long."

"No wonder you find this weird, then. It is weird."

Before Neil could say anything, the interview started, and they both tuned in to listen.

The first few questions were easy—the holidays, the hockey season so far, his injury. Neil had a good flow with the interviewer, and there were a few laughs here and there.

"Do you have any plans for the rest of the break?" the guy said and, from the way Neil's hands tightened on the steering wheel so hard it squeaked under his palms, Ryan knew this was it.

"Well, I think I'm going to be busy after this interview airs."

"Oh? And how's that?"

"You see, I've spent the last few weeks thinking about my life and my career, and what it may look like going forward. I've talked to the people around me, my family, my team, and I've received an enormous amount of support which makes it… maybe not easy, I'm not going to lie, but easier to open up about the fact that I'm gay."

Ryan inhaled sharply. He'd known it was coming, he'dknown, but hearing it…

He glanced at Neil, who had his eyes closed and his head tilted back to lean against the headrest.

Over the radio, the host seemed to get his voice back.

"Okay, I think I heard it right, but I'm making sure—did you just say you're gay?"

"Yeah." Neil sounded half-amused, half-disbelieving. "Yeah, I did. For years, I thought it's my business and mine alone, and, truth be told, I still think it's my business. But we live in a world where it matters, and I'd be lying if I said that my decision to stay silent until now wasn't dictated at least partially by how much it may matter to some, in a bad way."

"What changed?"

"I guess I finally realized what I could gain and stopped focusing so much on the things I may lose."

"Nice," Ryan murmured. It was a good line, even if it was only that, given how Neil had been forced into it.

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