Page 53 of Find Me Again

Ryan might have put forward all the safety precautions he could think of, but at the end of the day, he still needed to decide whether to take this shot or not.

And there was only one answer, really.

"I'm not against it, no."

This time it was Neil who rushed forward to kiss him, and Ryan welcomed him happily.

Maybe hope was going to kick him in the ass and leave him bruised and broken all over again.

Or maybe it was going to make things exactly right.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Neil's world, as expected, erupted quite spectacularly.

He'd had to turn off his phone two hours after the news had broken, and he only turned it back on for short periods of time in the next couple of days, to talk to his agent and the team's management, all of whom were braving the media storm in a pretty impressive manner while he was hiding out at his parents' house.

A part of him wished he could stay for longer surrounded by people who loved him and who didn't care about him being gay, but Neil knew it wasn't really an option. If he didn't want the press to come knocking on his parents' door, he needed to fly back to Savannah and take it from there.

He figured that flying first class after midnight was his best chance to escape the attention, but someone stepped up to him within five minutes of him arriving at the airport.

"Hello, there."

Ryan's voice made him spin around quickly enough to almost collide with his own suitcase, which would have been terribly embarrassing.

"How?" Neil asked in disbelief. Last time they'd texted earlier in the day, Ryan was heading to DC on a much earlier flight.

"A hat and a big jacket aren't enough to fool someone who observes for a living. Still, a pretty good disguise."

Neil chuckled. "Thanks, I guess. What are you doing here?"

"There's a snowstorm over DC, so we've got delayed twice so far." Ryan grimaced. "I hope we're in the air before dawn, but who knows."

"That sucks. I'm glad I got to see you one more time,though," Neil offered with a small smile.

It had been… tentative between them the last few days. They'd talked a bunch about what it would be like for Neil to be even more in the spotlight, and what it would mean to be long distance, but there had been times when it felt like it was all abstract, not any real plans.

One moment, Neil was coming unglued over the paparazzi, the media, and the on-line vitriol, and another, he needed the reassurance that yes, there could be a place for him in Ryan's life, even if they spent the majority of their time separate, since they both had careers they loved.

They both seemed to alternate between hoping they could have it all and fearing that they were bound to get hurt, which hadn't been the easiest, especially with everything else Neil had going on.

On the other hand, that hope had also been the shining light when things had gotten really hard. The mere idea that they could keep what they had and work on creating something lasting, made it easier for Neil not to lose himself in a downward spiral.

The soft smiles he'd gotten from Ryan, like this one right now, helped with that as well.

God, Neil wanted him so bad.

"I wish I could kiss you," he whispered, only to watch Ryan's eyes widen for a second.

"I wish you could kiss me, too," Ryan whispered back, glancing down at Neil's lips.

If they weren't in public…

But they were, so Neil had to resist the temptation. Somehow.

"And if I did, in theory, you wouldn't mind the possible media storm that followed?" he asked, like he'd asked about twenty times before.

With a sigh, Ryan shook his head. "It's not me we have to worry about."

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