Page 55 of Find Me Again

It seemed like his life-changing decision had been nothing else but a situation to manage for them—and manage it they had.

Neil was, by far, mostly relieved, but he also found it a little disconcerting.

The head of PR, Rowena Swisher, walked them all through the media storm so far, with the analysis of trends and shifts of the conversation, which was sometimes going over his head, but he appreciated the way she summarized it into"shitty in parts, but also overwhelmingly positive in other parts, with the club's standing netting in the positive column". Neil would take that any day, and, hopefully, so would the bosses.

"Now, we should really start putting Neil out there," she said next. "Holiday break was all and good, but if you stay hidden, it's going to come across like you're hiding on purpose."

Which wouldn't be incorrect, but also wasn't what they were trying to showcase here. They'd already gone over that before.

"Who is interested in an interview?" he asked, curling his hands around the mug he'd been offered.

The third coffee wasn't the smartest choice—he didn't need another reason to be jittery today—but he appreciated any smallcomfort in that moment.

Rowena snorted. "Who isn't? Every network has called, most of them with multiple offers, but we also have podcasts, radio, newspapers, magazines… You name it, they're interested. So it's more about who we want first, what's the order after that, and who we could cut without making it into a big thing." She paused. "I wish I could give you only fully supportive options, but you know I think you should do a range of outlets."

Neil knew. He'd heard the spiel before. They had fans all over the place, and they couldn't simply ignore those they didn't agree with, no matter what Neil might want.

However, he did have boundaries.

"I can do a few shows, but with restrictions we discussed," he said. "I'm not going where they would happily slaughter me and the team as the viewers cheered. I'm not trying to be an asshole," he added, looking around the room. "I'm really not. I just… I'm right about this."

"Yes, you are." Rowena gave him half a smile when he raised his eyebrows. "If you expected me to fight you on that, I'm sorry to disappoint. I'm all for choosing our targets and being smart about the diversification."

Fortunately, everyone else agreed, too, so they moved on to "clarifying the message", which was more like being probed with a bunch of invasive questions.

"Any relationships, past or present, that we should know about?"

Neil stilled. All the hours of thinking, and talking, and more thinking, only for him to end up back here—knowing the answer, but still struggling with articulating it.

Rowena had been right, before. He was going to needa lotof interview prep.

"Yeah," he finally said, sitting up and leaning with his elbows on the table. "There is one. Pastandpresent, as it turnsout."

* * *

Neil watched people filling out of the office while he stayed back, pretending to check something on his phone until he could stand up and approach the general manager, who hadn't moved from his seat at the top of the conference table.

"Boss, I—" He hesitated. Maybe it was just his lot these days, repeating himself over and over. "I know I said it before, but I really appreciate you sticking with me."

Bednarski motioned for him to take the seat next to him and waited until Neil sat down before speaking.

"You did say it, and, really, you don't have to thank me again. It's not always easy to do the right thing, as you well know, but in this case, my decision actuallywaseasy." The man sat back in his chair. "I'm sorry for ever giving you the impression that I would make it hard for you."

"No, I—" Neil paused and shook his head. It had never been about any one thing, any one person who would think badly of him or make his life hard. It had beenallthese things andallthese people. "It's complicated."

The GM nodded. "I bet. Still, for what it's worth, while there are some secrets in the Vault that I hope never come out and I'd work hard that they wouldn't, yours has never been one of them. Never."

Staring down at the table, Neil prayed that his voice would not waiver or break.

"That's good to know," he finally said, only slightly hoarse.

"One more thing." Bednarski clasped his hands over his stomach. "I haven't heard any shit from your teammates so far and I hope it stays that way. But if you hear anything or, God forbid, experience anything even remotely homophobic, I wantto know about it. And," he went on as Neil opened his mouth, "it's not only about you. It's about the team, as well. I don't want anyone spitting hate in the locker room, because that's only one bad day away from spitting shit out to the press. So no self-sacrificing bullshit, am I clear?"

"Crystal clear, sir."

"Good." Bednarski stood up. "Now go and get some rest before Rowena drags you out onto the media tour."

Neil said his goodbyes and left, feeling lighter than before and already planning on texting Ryan once he got home, but he only managed to take a couple of steps out of the building before there was a tall woman with a recorder, an envelope, and a determined look on her face right in front of him.

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