Page 61 of Find Me Again

It was hard at first, almost desperate, but when Ryan opened up to him and wound his arms around Neil to bring him closer, something in Neil eased up a bit and he slowed down. It became the hello kiss they'd skipped earlier, one that said"it's so good to be here, with you".

They kissed for a long time, and when they parted, neitherof them seemed in any hurry to pull away. Ryan nuzzled against his jaw, and Neil pressed his face against Ryan's neck, breathing him in.

Then a yawn escaped him, big enough that there was no way he could hide it, and Ryan chuckled right into his ear.

"How about you shower, I order food, and after we eat, you sleep for at least eight hours?"

"Not exactly what I had in mind for tonight," Neil grumbled, but he knew his body couldn't deliver on those plans anyway when he was this tired.

Ryan's expression, when he pulled back, told him the same thing.

"Okay, okay." Neil stepped away reluctantly. "Show me to the bathroom, then."

* * *

They made good on Neil's plans on Saturday morning, so it was pretty late by the time they settled in on the couch after breakfast, facing each other from their places against the opposite armrests. Their legs were brushing against each other every once in a while, but Neil would never admit he was responsible for most of thoseaccidentaltouches.

"You've heard me talk about the interviews and stuff, but I don't know how you've been with all the circus," he said instead. Over the phone, Ryan was quick to brush off his side of the story, but Neil hoped being together in person would make it easier to actually talk about it.

"I told you I was good," Ryan protested, but deflated at Neil's huff. "Honestly, I'm good. Nobody found me yet, but even if they do, I can handle it. I talked with my boss and I told a few friends I trust, but that's about it."

Neil ran a hand through his hair, afraid to ask the question,but needing to, anyway.

"So, no second thoughts about doing this with me?"

"No," Ryan said in a tone that bore no discussion. "I told you I'm in if you are, so ifyou'rehaving second thoughts—"

"I don't. I have absolutely no second thoughts about you," Neil assured him. "Hell, you're firmly at the top of the positives column whenever I feel like complaining about how invasive this whole thing has been."

Ryan winced at that. "Some of those quote-unquote journalists should be fired on sight, honestly. But as I told you, I think you've been handling it well."

"Thanks. All the prep has paid off, I guess."

Neil grimaced at the memory of the brutal sessions with the team's PR people, when they'd thrown some awful things at him. He was glad they brought someone from the outside for the worst of it, because he didn't think he'd be able to look them in the eye after this, even if all they would have done was play pretend.

"Do the higher-ups still think it's going okay?"

Neil nodded. "As good as it could be expected. There are some haters out there, of course, but most of the fans have moved on to the hockey part of it all, and that's what counts. All the players have been good about it, too," he added. "They're only teasing me about suddenly being the media darling."

A few of the guys had known about him already, but the rest had been a worry. Fortunately, it seemed that he'd lucked out, because the reactions varied from positive to civil. If someone had a problem with him, it hadn't come up yet.

He knew it all depended on how well he would play, though, so there was now this additional pressure to give his absolute best out there on the ice.

Good thing he always tried to, no matter what.

"Tell them you're more camera-friendly than all of themcombined," Ryan offered with a smirk which then softened to a real smile. "I'm glad you got to get away for the weekend."

Neil nudged Ryan's leg with his, warmth spreading through him.

"I'm glad, too. Especially since it will be a while before I have another one free." He paused. "How do you feel about coming to Savannah when your schedule allows?"

"Well, since I heard these flying machines are actually capable of going both directions, I'd say I feel pretty positive," Ryan said dryly, nudging him back. "I don't expect you to be the only one making an effort, you know."

"I know, I know, but…" Neil shrugged. "I guess I feel like with you giving me another chanceandaccepting the media attention, you're already making an enormous effort, so I'm trying to catch up. And to give you what you deserve."

Ryan sighed. "It's not a competition. And for me, these things you mention were the prerequisites to having a relationship with you at all. Just like you being out was a prerequisite for me," he pointed out. "Your coming out wasn't for me or anything, but without it, we wouldn't be here. So, from where I'm standing, we're both starting from the same place. Yes, we have history, and I'm sure we're going to bump into some problems because of that along the way, but I have no interest in using it against you. Feel free to call me out if I ever do."

"Feel free to call me out if I ever make you feel like I did back then."

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