Page 7 of Find Me Again

"It's not—" Neil dropped his hand to meet his dad's gaze. "You didn't do anything wrong, it's not about that. I felt like I couldn't tell anyone, not just you."

His dad opened his mouth, but his mom got there first.

"Let's not argue about that now. We have regrets, but they are ours to deal with. Now, we want to focus on you, okay? We want to support you in whatever way we can."

"You're doing that now," Neil told her. "Both of you. And I'm—" He swallowed hard. "I'm more grateful than I can say."

"You don't ever have to be grateful for us loving you." His mom's tone of voice bore no discussion. "That's our job asparents, and you always made it the easiest thing in the world."

"Okay, okay." Neil sat up and cleared his throat. "I love you guys, too, but how about we change the subject now?"

"You didn't tell us what's bugging you, though," she said, withdrawing her hand slowly.

Neil shook his head. He was all talked out for tonight.

"We covered the biggest part of it," he told her, which wasn't even a lie. "The rest is something I have to deal with on my own."

She watched him for what felt like forever before finally sitting back.

"Well, fine, but remember that if it's guy trouble, I know a thing or two about that." She nodded towards her husband of forty years, who predictably protested right away.

"Hey!"

Neil snorted, relaxing in his chair as he watched them bicker.

This evening had been nothing like he expected, and although he still had things looming over him, he felt lighter than he'd felt in ages.

He felt safe.

* * *

The next day, he slept in and ate a late breakfast as his mom was working on a pecan pie solely for him. Whenever he'd come to visit, there usually was some kind of a family gathering—or three—but she'd always made sure to make one of his favorites outside of any party. And he loved that, even if he always needed to add extra time in the gym for a while after a trip home.

"Do you have any plans for the day?" she asked.

"No, I figure I'll see how it goes. But if you need me forsome errands or something, I'm game."

She hummed in agreement. "I might ask you to drop by Aiden's place later, I've promised to lend him my spare casserole dish."

"Sure. Do you have a spare one, though?" he joked. There were at least four of them in this kitchen, he'd bet his playoff bonus on it, but with how much food his mom always prepared for the guests, she probably needed every dish and appliance she had.

"I might have more than one if I decide to skip the sweet potato casserole this year," she told him in an innocent voice, and Neil quickly lifted his hands in surrender.

After all, her sweet potato casserole was one of his favorite dishes of all time.

"I'm withdrawing the question."

"Smart move."

They smiled at each other, and he sat there with her until the pie was in the oven and his second cup of coffee was empty. Truth be told, he was tempted to lounge on the couch the whole day, but he'd done that yesterday and he needed to get out of the house or else he would just obsess over Josh's threat and what it meant for his career or life in general. His parents had held back from asking more questions so far, but they would certainly sit him down for another come-to-Jesus talk if he stayed hidden in the house, dressed in sweatpants and an old T-shirt every day.

Finally, he decided to get on with things. He would drop the casserole dish at his cousin's place and then see what to do next. The weather was nice and it might be good to get some fresh air.

It wasn't until he was driving up the familiar path through the forest that he realized he'd planned to come here since the moment he'd woken up this morning, groggy and disoriented, from a dream about that hill and about Ryan and him as theyonce were, before everything went to shit.

He hadn't had one of those in years.

Neil blamed it on the conversation with his parents and the fact that he had replayed it in his head over and over yesterday, wondering what it would have meant to have it back then, and whether it would have changed anything.

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