Page 23 of Hold Me Down

"Let's try something, then. Tell me how your usual week went, let's say, six months ago. Where were you when you woke up, where were you when you fell asleep, and what was happening in between. Were you working every day, were you hanging out with the same people, stuff like that."

Frowning, Travis did his best to paint her an accurate portrait of his daily life. He woke up at home and got ready for the day. He went for a run when he had a day off but skipped it if he'd be heading into the office, aware he'd get his exercise at work since they needed to put in at least two hours in the gym there unless they were out on an assignment. He drove with his partner and returned home with him as well, because they lived together. If their assignment didn't run late into the night, they usually watched something on TV before bed. Rinse and repeat.

"No evening outings or regular social engagements outside of that?"

Her tone was measured, blank, like there was no wrong answer, which he appreciated.

"No, I'm not really that sociable of a person. We're a pretty close-knit group at work, but we hang out at the office and at our biweekly basketball games, so we don't need anything more. Or I don't, at least. Every couple of months, Kalei organizes a BBQ at his house for the whole company, and some people bring their partners to that. It can get pretty big, but it's fun."

"Okay, we covered your regular week from six months ago. Can you describe a week from four months ago, maybe four and a half?"

Travis shook his head, ready to tell her that it was the exact same—his life was the same six months ago, four months ago, and today, and he liked that, because he really liked his life overall—but then he quickly did the math and realized she was asking him about late January.

He closed his mouth with an audible click of his teeth.

Fuck. This was stupid.

It couldn't be connected, and yet, he was hesitating to tell her about it for some reason.

She waited for a minute, and then, when Travis was still fighting with himself, she gave a little push.

"I can see you thought of something. No matter how big or small it was, I believe it could be beneficial to what we're discussing, but if it turns out unrelated, then that's okay, too. We'll keep looking."

He did not want to do this.

He'd felt stupid even coming here, and he'd felt stupid talking to her, trying to explain himself, and now she was pushing him over nothing.

Because it had to be nothing, otherwise… Otherwise he would be really fucking embarrassed.

"Something was different. However, it wasn't me, and it only lasted for a few weeks, so I don't think…" he drifted off, but she shook her head.

"No matter how big or small," she repeated. "Oftentimes, we don't see a connection until we reflect on things from a different point of view. Even if the thing itself, whatever it was, is not the reason we're looking for, it may give us a starting point."

Travis stared at the window for another minute, fighting his every instinct until he finally opened his mouth.

"It's about my partner, Dave. At the start of the year, he had this idea that maybe he'd want to be in a relationship after all and figured he might try dating."

"So the two of you weren't—" she paused, and he sighed.

"We're more than work partners, but we're not… We're not in a relationship. In a romantic sense."

"But you have sex with each other?"

Huh. Travis didn't expect her to ask outright.

On the other hand, he had nothing to be ashamed of.

"Yes. I guess you could call us friends with benefits. We've known each other half our lives and we've done most things together—military, the deployment, our current job. We've also lived together for most of that time. And since neither of us was interested in a long-term romantic relationship, it was easy to… fall into things."

"I see." She somehow managed to convey the same measured tone with no judgment in two words, which was honestly impressive. "So your partner, the man you're spending most of your time with, at work and outside of it, decided at the beginning of the year that he was going to start dating, even though you felt until then that neither of you wanted that?"

"Yeah."

"Were you surprised when he told you?"

Travis shifted in his seat.

"Of course. I mean, it wasn't even that he met someone and fell for him, which would be…" He cleared his throat. "It would be one thing. But Dave seemed to simply decide that he shouldtry that. He also asked me if I ever considered changing my stance on commitment, too."

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