Page 29 of Hold Me Down

"I can't believe it," Travis muttered.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't, either, at first, but now it's the greatest news ever. Don't you love it when the quiet ones surprise you?"

I got a reminder today about the last time someone surprised me in the realm of romantic woes, so not really, Travis thought but obviously couldn't say.

"I guess it's hard to wrap my head around it," he offered instead. "Jeremy, of all people."

Dave looked down at his plate. "Well, I don't think anyone has any doubts about how he feels about Pascal."

"Of course, he's clearly gone on the man." Travis scratched his jaw. "But he was always… I don't know, it seemed like he was letting it happen to him, not actively pursuing it, if that makes any sense."

"Letting it happen suggests way too much passivity. And while Jeremy hasn't been publicly wining and dining Pascal or anything, he's always… acutely aware of Pascal whenever they are in the same space."

Travis opened his mouth to argue that this was who they all were—veterans didn't just lose their situational awareness, ever. He himself knew where everyone was in his vicinity, especially Dave, who was his focal point.

But then he caught himself.

Why were they even arguing about this? This was great news, and he was nitpicking it instead of celebrating.

"You're right, Jeremy's not passive," he finally said. "Still, he managed to surprise us all with this."

"Yep." Dave looked up at that. "Good surprise, though."

"Definitely." Travis straightened, wanting to bring back that light in Dave's eyes from earlier but not knowing how. "I bet Pascal will be over the moon."

Dave beamed at that, and Travis let himself relax.

"Oh, yeah," Dave said with a grin. "I always assumed he dreamed of getting married and only held back because of Jeremy."

"You think?"

"Yeah. I mean, I did bet on Pascal being the one who proposed, but only because I figured he might get tired of wishing and hoping and finally decide to at least shoot his shot by asking. And Jeremy wouldn't tell him no."

Jeremy wouldn't tell him no.

For some reason, that part echoed in Travis's brain again and again.

Jeremy wouldn't tell him no.

"Huh." Dave sat up, the grin disappearing. "I guess that's why Pascal didn't ask."

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it, Travis felt like he missed something.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Pascal wanted to get married, but he likely gave up on that plan when he fell in love with a guy who didn't—or at least we all thought he didn't. Jeremy very rarely tells him no, so Pascal proposing would put Jeremy in a tight spot. Either he'd say no and hurt Pascal, or he'd say yes for Pascal's sake, which would be even worse. So Pascal didn't ask." Dave slumped in his chair again. "But that's all guessing, of course."

Travis, who had never analyzed anyone's relationship this deeply, didn't know what to say.

"It all makes sense, when you put it like this," he finally offered, earning himself another smile.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't think about it this way before, but with everything laid out like that… It makes sense. Definitely more sense than my comment about Jeremy's passive stance on things." Travis shrugged. "But then, what do I know about romantic relationships?"

He realized he'd made a mistake before he even finished that last sentence, but he couldn't quite grasp why. Was it because it also implied that Dave had no idea what he was talking about? Travis hadn't meant to suggest that, he was only talking about himself.

Whatever it was, though, he knew he screwed up the moment he watched Dave's face fall again.

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