Page 49 of Hold Me Down

And yet, needing him now to accomplish basic things had thrown Dave completely off balance.

It was worse than being stupidly in love with the guy. That, he knew how to handle. But to be dependent on him, to feel like a weight pulling Travis down instead of being right there with him every step of the way…

Dave didn't know how to do this. At all.

He had to figure it out, though.

He had to.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

As the car parked outside of Kalei's house, Travis realized that it was the second time in less than three weeks that he was coming here shaken up, his emotions all over the place.

Clenching and unclenching his hands, he focused on his breathing. He counted the houses on the left side that he could see on the inhale, and then the houses on the right as he exhaled. He repeated it a few times before glancing back at Kalei's house, only to see him already there on the front porch.

Of course.

Travis still had no idea how Kalei did that—even his exceptional hearing couldn't explain it fully, could it?—but he was grateful for it, now. Who knew how long he would have sat in here instead of walking up and knocking, otherwise.

Probably as long as the driver would let him before getting impatient.

It didn't matter that Travis wasn't ready to have the conversation he'd come here to have—he didn't think he could everbeready. He was here, and Kalei was staring at him, which meant Travis was doing this, one way or another.

The moment he left the car, Kalei turned and walked back into the house, and Travis chuckled humorlessly. No matter what kind of crisis he was going through, some things stayed the same.

In the kitchen, Kalei had already taken a pitcher of water out of the fridge and was putting ice cubes into the glasses.It sharpens the mind, he liked to say, and whether it was scientifically proven or not, Travis did think it at least helped keep his focus on the here and now when things were hard.Alcohol was for smoothening the edges for a while, the ice-cold water was for looking right at them.

Kalei put a glass in front of him and sat on the opposite side of the table.

"Okay, give it to me."

And Travis wished he could explain it in some kind of logical order, but if he could manage that, he probably wouldn't need to be here in the first place. As things were, his head was a mess, his emotions were a mess, and he was grasping at straws to make sense of it all.

"What if I'm an asshole to Dave?" he finally blurted out, clasping his hands around the glass, which sent a cool shiver up his arms.

Kalei sat back.

"Oh, boy."

"I never intended to!" Travis straightened in his seat. "I never, ever intended to. I thought everything was great! I honestly did. If you had asked me a month ago, I would have told you things couldn't be better."

"I know, because I did ask."

Travis grimaced before taking a sip of the water.

"You asked me in the context of my adrenaline thing."

"I asked you in general, and I never assumed your 'adrenaline thing' was separate from the rest of you. So don't play me."

Slumping back in his seat, Travis nodded.

"Speaking off, I've been calmer than usual in the last two weeks or so. Of course, the circumstances are what they are, but I am better."

"Good. I'm glad. Now, go back to the current crisis."

"Current".

Damn it,Travis had gone years without any major issues and now it was one thing after the other.

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