Page 36 of Single Glance

“Uggh,” I groaned. “Not only are you in paradise, but you look so happy, I might cry. If I didn’t love you, I’d probably hate you.”

Tori tucked her lip between her teeth. “It’s pretty amazing here. Adam rented us this bungalow by the water, so when he’s filming, I get to just relax and enjoy being somewhere new. You’d love it, Hads.”

“I’ll add it to my travel list.“ I settled more on my couch. “Tell me everything! What’s it like there? How’s the movie going?”

Tori filled me in on all the details of her trip, sharing all her favorite places in Sydney. I sat back and soaked in every detail, wishing I could be there with her. She sounded so peaceful.This time with Adam had done wonders for her, and she looked more tranquil than I’d ever seen her. Even though she was only half-way through her trip, there was a fresh air about her, a calm serenity that had been missing before she left. Tori loved being a mom, no question about that. Her entire life revolved around her family, but it was great to see her take some time for herself.

Her voice suddenly cut out, and I realized she’d asked me a question. “Huh?”

Tori rolled her eyes. “I asked how things were going with Cam? Have you two killed each other yet?”

Nope, not unless you’re counting orgasms. In that case, yes, he almost murdered me.

“Not yet,” I said. “We’ve been getting along, actually.”

I was desperate to add on more, to tell my best friend about the conflict rushing through my heart. There was a line, and I was pretty sure talking about my carnal desire for her ex crossed it.

Her brow furrowed, almost as if she read the words I refused to say. Each unspoken moment made my pulse thunder a little harder, unsure what to do with myself when she studied me. Finally, she sighed, “Wait, you aren’t being sarcastic?”

“No,” I said. “I can be serious from time to time. Adds to my mystique.”

“You two are actually getting along?” I nodded. She beamed back at me. “That’s amazing! I always hoped you guys would become friends, but I didn’t think it would ever happen.”

“Don’t get too crazy,” I said. “This is a temporary ceasefire. When you get back, we’ll go back to hating each other.”

She went silent again, looking off into thedistance beyond the phone. When she finally turned back to me, she sighed, “Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why does it have to be temporary? Why are you so determined to hate Cam?” She shook her head. “You two are both too stubborn for your own good, I swear.”

“I am nothing like Cam,” I protested.

“Bullshit,” Tori said. “You two are opposite sides of the same coin. You’re more free-spirited, but you’re both two of the most stubborn, infuriating, loyal people I’ve ever met.” She shook her head. “Is this because of school? Hadley, it was my choice.”

My jaw clenched, remembering that conversation all too well. I was the first one to find out Tori was pregnant, holding her hand while we counted down the minutes until she checked that stick. When two lines appeared, she broke down, convinced her life was over. I’d held her through her tears and convinced her it didn’t have to change her life. We’d made a plan to get an apartment off campus, and I’d help with the baby. She was too smart, too determined to let this derail her goals. When we finished talking, she was actually smiling, excited about the prospect of becoming a mom and staying in school.

At least, until she talked to Cam.

Then, everything changed.

“Hadley, I love you. I love that you’re so protective over me.” She paused, and my pulse instantly quickened. “But I’m not your mom. And Cam—he’s not your dad.”

“Ouch,” I said. “Way to dive right into my daddy issues. Anything else you want to bring up? Want to dive deep into my childhood bullying problems?”

“I’m serious, Hads. I can’t imagine what it must be like, hearing your mom complain constantly about how her lifeturned out, especially with her as your only parent.” Tori shook her head. “It’s not the same with Cam and me. I’m happy with the way my life’s turned out. If I stayed in school, who knows what it would look like right now? I might not have Emilia, and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” She smiled at me. “Cam has been there every step of the way, and every single decision, we’ve made together. We might not be perfect, but we’re trying hard for Emilia. He’s a good guy. The very best.”

My entire face flushed with shame. Was I really that transparent? Listen, I might have spent years working with a therapist to work through my family issues, but they always lurked under the surface, waiting for the right moment to rear their ugly heads.

“He is.” I swallowed and forced my eyes away from the phone. “At the same time—you lost yourself, Tori. Even after you guys broke up, you limited your world to only Emilia. Easier to blame him than look too at why it bothered me. I should have realized I was holding onto my stuff about my parents.”

She nodded in understanding. “I get it. I’d be more concerned if it didn’t trigger you. However, it might be time to face what’s really bothering you.”

I exhaled, trying to force away my tears, but it was useless. They broke free, trailing along my cheeks. “I don’t know how to do this, Tori—how to let other people in and trust they’ll stick around.”

“You’ve done pretty well with me.”

“You’re different.”

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