Page 30 of Blazing Embers

I take a breath. It feels good. I try not to cry, but I fail.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

The tears slip down the sides of my face and vanish in the water. I wish I could blame hormones, but this has been waiting for weeks, months, maybe my whole life.

I think of Ruslan, and my heart cracks again. “Your father… I think beneath all the anger and hate, he’s a good man. But right now, all he sees is using you and me as leverage for his own games. But we can’t get caught up in his war. I have one of my own to fight. For you and your future.”

I curl in on myself, as much as I can with this body, and whisper the secret I’ve never said aloud.

“I don’t think your father understands the gravity of who I am,” I tell my baby. “You see, I’m not like the other Jewel Initiative test subjects.” I swallow, feeling that weird, surreal bubble that seems to shroud me whenever I think of who I really am. “Because the people who made me... they didn’t just alter me. They designed me. Built me. I wasn’t born. I was written.”

The words scratch my throat.

“You’re not supposed to exist, Elena. You’re unique, like a new being that’s been created. Your DNA is not just altered, it’s mutated into something new. You’re forced evolution, created by man.” I close my eyes. “Only one Jewel Initiative was kept and thought a success. The second one they thought a success was stolen and stashed away in America.” I smile at my belly. “Yes, that’s your mommy.” I bite my lip. “The rest of the kids on the project were considered a failure and cast away like disposable lab rats.”

My gut clenches at the story Clyde told me about how the five remaining kids in the project were sent into a room. It’s playtime, they were told. Then the room was sealed, and a gas was poured in. A gas meant to kill them so the RMSAD could bury their failed experiments. But the woman who saved them, a woman they all called Mother, had switched the gases. When their bodies were taken out of the room, she switched them with others and safely took the kids away, leaving the bodies that replaced them to burn.

“Clyde explained that you’re a little miracle,” I coo. “All the other test subjects were sterilized. How barbaric is that? The oldest kid there had been Clyde, and he was eleven at the time.”

I shudder as I run my hand over my stomach, trying to memorize the curve of it.

“The RMSAD wanted to build the perfect agent. But they also needed to ensure if the kids did make it that far, that they would never make a mistake and bear a child.” I suck in a shaky breath. “Bearing children would mean their experiments were procreating in an uncontrolled environment and populating the world with a new breed of human. One with altered DNA.”

More tears fall, but I don’t wipe them away as I recall the horrific story Clyde told me.

“So you see, sweetheart,” I whisper to my belly, “the world and even your grandmother and Aunt Sabrina need to think you’re just another ordinary girl.”

A strange feeling hits me. I suddenly sit up, gasping as the movement sends a bolt of pain through my abdomen. The bathwater sloshes, and I brace my hands on the sides of the tub, breathing hard.

It’s starting. I know it’s beginning. I’m in labor.

“Okay,” I say, trying to sound calm, trying to sound like Sabrina. “You’re ready. I’m ready. Let’s do this.”

The next contraction hits, and it’s not the dull ache I expected. It’s sharp and brutal, like something is trying to rip me in half. I clench my jaw and try not to scream.

“Sabrina!” I yell because I can’t pretend anymore.

There’s a scramble outside the door, and then she’s there, hair wild, face panicked. “What’s wrong?” she says, voice high and thin.

“She’s coming,” I say. “She’s really coming.”

Sabrina’s hands are on my shoulders, trying to lift me out of the tub, but I wave her off. “Wait,” I say. “Just wait.”

The pain fades a little, and I look up at her, at the face I know better than my own. “You’re going to have to do this for me. You’re going to have to be her mom.”

“Of course, Tara, always,” Sabrina mutters absently as she helps me from the tub. “I have to message Sam and the midwife.”

“Just get me to the bedroom first,” I gasp as another contraction comes. Worse than the last. I scream this time because I can’t hold it back.

“Bedroom, right. Let's get you there. Just a few more steps.” Sabrina holds my hand. “You can do this, Tara. I know we’ve been waiting for Elena to pop out, so this is going to go against everything we’ve hoped for in the past few days.” Her eyes meet mine. “But for god’s sake, keep her in there for a little longer. I can’t help you give birth. We need the midwife and Sam.”

I nod as I use the wall to hold me up, trying not to lean my entire weight on my tiny sister.

The third wave crashes over me, and my vision blurs at the edges. I let myself float, just for a second, and in that second, my knees start to buckle.

“Fuck me!” I growl. “Just a few more feet,” I mumble as Sabrina all but drags me to my room and gets me on the bed.

“Stay there,” Sabrina orders. “I’m just going to call…”

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