Page 43 of Blazing Embers

Too fucking clear. To fucking familiar. My mind screams this is photoshopped it has to be.

The glass in my hand explodes.

Shards cut into my palm, but I barely feel it. My breath comes ragged, boiling with rage, disbelief, something darker I can’t name yet.

“Irina was right,” I whisper. “Gavriil didn’t kill Alisa. Or…”

My voice breaks. I press my thumb to the shard stuck in my palm, grounding myself with pain.

I look up.

Konstantin hasn’t moved.

He’s just watching me.

Silent.

The rage bubbles in my chest, tearing at the edges of my ribs.

“Gavriil didn’t kill my wife and daughter.” My voice is barely a whisper. “It was you.”

15

TARA

I tug the sleeves of my oversized sleep shirt over my wrists as I curl deeper into the armchair by the window. Outside, the mountains tower like stone sentinels, dark and brooding against the night. The snow-covered pines are bathed in moonlight, so beautiful it hurts to look at them. But it's not the cold that's biting tonight. It's what I know I’ve done and what I have to do.

The warmth of the hot chocolate cradled in my hands does little to chase the sick twist in my gut. I’ve just come out of the shower, and for the first time in weeks, I’m not bleeding. The pain from the catheter removal was a cruel reminder that I’m still recovering, even if I wish I weren’t. I’m sore, hollowed out, worn to the bone.

The underfloor heating hums gently beneath my bare feet, the sheepskin-lined slippers making it all too easy to pretend I'm safe. That this is just a home in the mountains. That I’m not tangled in lies so thick I can barely see through them. But that’s all it is. Pretend.

Ruslan saw the report about having to have my uterus removed.

The look on his face when the doctor said I would never have children—it tore through me like a shard of glass. Now he thinks I lost his first heir and can never give him another one, and I was told to go along with that lie. My medical records were doctored by someone the other Jewel Initiative escapee’s call Mother. The woman who saved them from being gassed after being deemed a failed experiment. Like lab rats. What the fuck? They were little children.

Clyde told me during the month we were hiding that he and the other escapees, now all grown, obviously, had plans to shut that evil place down. They’d been working on it with the woman, Mother, for years. And that one day, soon, they would be able to walk free without looking over their shoulder and finally really be free. With the birth of Elena, whom they all saw as their little niece, they were more determined than ever to blow the RMSAD to smithereens.

I want nothing more than to join that fight, but my heart is in so many places right now it feels like Swiss cheese with all my lies slowly curdling into a sour lump in my gut as I drown in all my deceit that I know can never be undone or forgiven. No matter how good my intentions or the reason for the lies and deceit.

There is only one way for Elena and me to ever really be completely safe. We both have to disappear. If people thought we were dead, no one would come looking for us. And this time, I will stay presumed dead. But, unlike my parents, as soon as Elena can understand, I am going to explain our situation to her. It’s always better to be prepared than end up making mistakes that cost a person as dearly as they have cost me and everyone I love.

Hopefully, if I disappear, Ruslan will never find out what I have done or how my doctor has altered my medical records todeceive him and get him to let me go back to America and out of reach of the RMSAD.

I stare into the cup, watching the surface ripple as my hands tremble. The taste of hot chocolate goes bitter on my tongue.

I could leave Elena with Sabrina. But I am weak. The thought of never seeing her little face again or feeling her tiny fingers curl around mine feels like a weight on my chest, crushing my lungs and restricting my breathing.

A lump swells in my throat, and I shove the emotion down like poison. Right now, there is no time for weakness. No time for sentiment. I have to figure out where the fuck I am and contact Uncle Nik. He’ll know what to do. Although he’s going to be pretty pissed when he realizes I lied to him about Elena. He, too, thinks I miscarried, as I needed everyone to believe she was Sabrina’s. But now he’s going to know the truth, as he is the one person who could erase me and Elena without a trace. Maybe Sabrina, my mother, and Mark will come too. We disappeared as a family when I was three years old. Although my mother was with my father back then, so this will be Mark’s first time, but hey, he may want to be erased too.

My heart thuds with excitement at maybe taking my entire family with me. I need my little village to help raise my baby girl.

My head turns, and I scan the room. I need a phone so I can get the hell out of here as soon as possible.

One of the guards must have a phone. I’ll have to secretly borrow one for a few minutes from one of them and make the call.

I yawn, and my eyes start to feel heavy. Okay, so I’ll have to make that call tomorrow, as right now my body is still healing and telling me it’s time for some more shut-eye.

I finish my hot chocolate and put the mug down to stretch before standing and starting to make my way to bed, and that's when I hear it like magic. Like I conjured it with my mind, it's the sound of a phone ringing. Right here somewhere in my room.

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