Page 117 of The Last Hope

Because despite everything, she had been just another victim. A victim of her mother’s twisted ambitions.

“I should have given her more attention,” he murmured, his voice cracking. “Tried harder to love her. Maybe if I had—”

“Nikolai. No.”

I stopped him immediately, sliding my hands to his jaw, forcing him to meet my gaze. His stormy blue eyes finally locked onto mine. And for a moment, it felt like he was here again. Like he truly saw me.

“Listen to me, Nikolai Ivanov, because I will not repeat myself.” I inhaled sharply. “What happened to Irina is not your fault. The choices she made were not your fault. And what you did to save your sons ? Nikolai, you did what any parent who loves their child would have done. I would have done the same.”

I pressed my forehead against his, my breath shaky.

“Nikolai…” I hiccuped, trying to pull him back, trying to anchor him to us, to now, to me. And finally, he came back to me. To us.

His hands left the window frame, sliding up to my cheeks, pushing my hair back. His palms were warm, grounding.

“Nikolai, don’t do this. Don’t do this to yourself. I can’t stand seeing you like this,” I whispered, sniffling in the most inelegant way possible—but I didn’t care.

I just wanted him to stop hurting. His eyes roamed my face, tracing every feature—my eyes, my nose, my lips, my tear-streaked cheeks—before locking onto mine once more.

And then—

“Marry me, Selina.”

My breath caught.

“What ?”

My eyes widened so much I must have looked like I was about to pop them out of their sockets.

“You ask me not to do this, Selina. But this is what I’ve lived with every single day. I never slept without nightmares. Never spent a moment without hearing the screams echoing in my head. Everything was dark. Cold. Nothing had taste, nothing had meaning. My sons wouldn’t even look at me, Selina. They avoided me. Ignored me. Nothing made sense anymore. Until you,Solnychko. Until you” his voice trembled.

His nose skimmed along my temple, his breath warm, grounding, “I can’t, Selina. I can’t imagine my life without you. Not now. Not ever.”

His lips hovered over mine, his breath fanning against them as my heart pounded so hard it felt like it was about to shatter my ribs.

“Nikolai…” I whispered.

And I didn’t even know what I wanted to say.

Stop ?

Go on ?

“Marry me, Selina.”

Nikolai

Andrei and Alexei were showing Selina their English homework while Mikhail tried to explain an addition problem to Rafael on the other couch. Ever since the boys interrupted us this morning—right after I asked Selina the most important question of my life—I had been trying to corner her for an answer, but in vain.

The more I chased her, the more she fled.

And I loved it.

I loved everything about her. The way she spoke, the way she laughed, the way she looked at our boys, the way she looked at me. The way her eyes narrowed when something didn’t sit right with her, or when she suspected the boys and I were trying to mess with her with our stupid jokes. The way she responded to my kisses, to every single one of my advances. The way her body molded perfectly to mine.

Selina was made for me—her body meant for mine, her heart beating in sync with mine, her soul healing mine, her laughter filling the deafening silence in my head.

She was made for me. Only me.

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