I could never do that to him, even if I decided to give up my magic, which was getting harder as a concept every day. The more I used it, the more it was instinctual. The more I wanted to use it. The more I couldn’t imagine my life without it.
28
Jax
Ididn’t even make it past the security desk before Seth whistled low. “You are some kinda down bad, bud.”
Yeah, okay, so maybe I’d come into work with my tail between my legs that morning. The day before, Dakota had been... off.
Not entirely wrong. He still smiled at me, was still happy to lean against my arm when we were alone. But there was a wall there, something I couldn’t quite explain but felt nonetheless.
It was like he’d finally listened to me, knew how much of a disaster we’d be to each other.
And I was starting to regret pushing that knowledge on him at all. Was it really so bad to fight down my instincts if he was safe and happy and mine?
I let out a slow breath that hissed between my teeth and turned on Seth. “That obvious?”
“Painfully obvious,” Seth said with a grimace. “Are you holding up okay?”
Knowing anybody else could see the cracks in me would’ve been a hard pill to swallow, but only Jillian knew me better than Seth. The biggest difference was my sister knew when to give me space. Seth was always pushing, but out of kindness. Nobody could fault him for it.
“I’ll be better after we get this deal with Igarashi finalized.”
Seth arched a brow. “I meant with Dakota. He pack?”
My mouth opened before I thought it through. No, he wasn’t pack.
But everything in me fought against saying so. To me, he was. He wasours.
I sighed, and Seth grimaced sympathetically.
“I mean,” he said, “he works here. He’s one of us. That’s enough.”
My smile wobbled onto my face. Sure, it was enough, but it wasn’t even half of what I wanted.
“Will you let me know if I start tilting?” I asked. The last thing our pack needed was for my distraction to get us in a bad spot.
Seth nodded. “Always. And Dakota—he’s not... overwhelmed?”
I shrugged. “He’s handling everything better than I would, and Prudence is keeping an eye on him. She’s not going to let him fall apart.”
He waved a hand, dismissing the very idea. “She wouldn’t. I was just... did he say anything? After karaoke night.”
That brought me up short. “About what?”
A grimace twisted Seth’s features. He was worried he was about to get in trouble.
“Seth, what is it?” My voice turned lower, more serious. Alpha voice.
“Maia suggested I, uh—” Seth looked away sheepishly. That wasn’t like him. He’d been my best friend long before we’d ever come to the city. He was my second in the fight that’d freed us from the sharp heel of our last alpha.
We didn’t shrink away from each other.
“Well, she thought it was weird, how that guy showed up out of nowhere. And you smelled Dakota—he wasn’t exactly pleased to see hisfriend.”
“Her instinct said something was off.” We were wolves. We were less likely to tell ourselves to check our gut reactions than humans.
And I trusted my pack. Had to, if I expected them to trust me.