Page 16 of Restoring His Howl

“Weren’t you like that at the club? You’d get in, get what you wanted and get out with your reputation intact and no one getting hurt, right?” Markas’ eyebrows rose. “Or is my intelligence wrong?”

“It’s not wrong. That was me to the letter.”Was.He’d changed.

“So?”

“It’s different. I don’t want Avan sniffing around. He’s being a predator. Dillon needs care. He needs time,” Cinders said. “Someone who can hold his hand while he… I don’t know what.”

“He needs you to protect him and to be a partner.” Markas folded his arms again. “You know I’m right. If you didn’t feel that way, you wouldn’t be so mad.”

“Markas.” Damn it. The alpha was on target again.

“What’s the problem? You need each other. He deserves someone who can handle his issues, and you need someone to protect. You need a cause, and that cause happens to be handsome, sweet and fragile.” Markas paused. “When you were at the club, the only one you had to look out for was you. Now, you’ve got something bigger, and you’re scared. Aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he blurted. “I’m worried I’m not good enough for him.”

Whoa. He hadn’t thought he’d say that aloud. The thought had run rampant through his head, but still…

“That’s…” Markas unfolded his arms and flattened his hands on his desk. “Cinders…”

“Jesus,” Cinders said. “He needs a guy with a good heart and without faults. One with infinite patience and no fear. I’m not as fucked up as him, and I don’t want to be, but I know I’m not… I don’t think I’m capable of being the man he needs.” He felt unworthy of Dillon. “He’s precious. I’m just an ex-stripper.”

“You’re more than you think, and yes, he is precious.”

“But I’m also angry. I can’t help it. I mean, how do you keep that kind of thing quiet? He wants to be with me, but won’t tell me everything? I’ve been up front and open with him. I didn’t even wait for him to ask. I volunteered.” The jaguar hated when his human side got upset. The cat wanted to comfort him but also to comfort Dillon. Neither side of Cinders knew what to do. He left his seat and paced the length of the office. “I feel like I’ve been lied to. Like he knew I might be upset and I’d leave, so he lied by omission.”

“He probably did think that way, and what did you do? You bolted, just as he expected. I’m guessing you’re not the only person to leave him.” Markas shrugged. “He knew what you’d do and tried to keep you around.”

Cinders stopped short. Yeah, he’d run away and left Dillon as soon as he’d found out. The unworthiness increased. How could he face Dillon now? “Markas.”

“I get it. Trust is hard. When I met John, I’d just shifted for the first time. It was an accident, that shift. I was so confused. He didn’t know what to do either.” Markas rolled backward in his chair. “But he didn’t run.”

“How could you not?” A shift by accident? Fuck. If Cinders hadn’t know about shifters, he’d have been freaked out the first time.

“Answer me this first: do you like Dillon?”

“Yes.” He didn’t have to think about his answer.

“Have you slept with him?” Markas asked.

“Define sleeping with.” He couldn’t shake his cheeky streak. Easy answers weren’t his style.

“Did you fuck him?” Markas asked, his voice calm.

“No.” Part of him wished he had.

“Did he fuck you?”

“No, we sleptin our clothesin the same bed. It was almost too innocent.” If he were still atStiffand the other strippers found out he’d simply slept with Dillon and not had sex, they’d have made fun of him for ages.

“You wanted to protect him.”

Markas knew him too well. Why fight the truth? “Yes. He told me about shifting at the cabin and the guy, Dirk, and my jaguar wanted to kill Dirk and hold Dillon. I’m not sure if it’s because I felt sorry for him or wanted to kiss him.”

“Do you still?” Markas asked.

“Feel sorry? Yeah. That sucks. I kind of see how he feels. I left home at seventeen because I was misunderstood. I can’t begin to understand what happened to him or say I sympathize because I’m still processing it, but I get the suckage.” He’d been ostracized for being furry when the rest of the family couldn’t shift. Dillon’s situation was much worse.

“I meant, do you still want to kiss him?” Markas sighed. “You’re so smart, but can be so dense.”

He paused. Markas was right. Cinders hadn’t seen the good thing right in front of him. He met Markas’ gaze.

“I’m asking if you felt a passion you didn’t believe could exist when you saw Dillon. Like magnets or static electricity. It blew your mind, didn’t it?” Markas asked.

Cinders scrubbed both hands over his face. His heart wanted him to run to Dillon. His jaguar wanted to bite the wolf and claim him. What did Cinders’ gut or mind want? His brain said to wait, but his gut wasn’t sure.

“If you have to think about it, give yourself space. If you didn’t feel that zap, you’d have told me.” Markas shrugged. “I’m guessing you did, and it’s overwhelming you. What you need now is to process what’s going on. Dillon needs that, too. Have lunch. Run, maybe. For God’s sake, avoid Avan. Get your mind off Dillon and onto what you can control. Then once you’ve had some time, look for Dillon. Follow your heart and your jaguar. The animals are a lot smarter than we realize.”

Cinders sighed. He hated following directions, but Markas had a point. A lot of good points. There wasn’t anyone in the house who both annoyed and intrigued Cinders like Dillon. The jaguar wanted to skip the shower and go right to Dillon, but Cinders would follow Markas’ instructions and bide his time. Dillon deserved a man who wasn’t confused or afraid. In time, Cinders would be sure and fearless.

---