Page 24 of Restoring His Howl

“Do you want to know?” Dillon asked.

“Not until you’re ready.” He brushed his cheek over Dillon’s forearm.

Dillon stared at him. He balled his hands, and the muscle in his jaw twitched. “When I was still withWet Dreams, I’d cut myself to feel something.” Dillon turned his arm over. “The wolf hated it, but I’d gotten so low I saw no other way out. When I felt the pain, it was a release.”

“Honey.” Cinders held Dillon’s arm as if it were glass. He couldn’t imagine being that low. Couldn’t imagine what Dillon had gone through. He’d been in control of his life, but Dillon had had none.

“They’re old. When I escaped, I vowed to stop hurting myself. The impulse is still there, but I fight it. The wolf helps. I’m…I’m not healed, but I’m free fromWet Dreams. The wolf and I are getting back on track,” Dillon said. “I don’t want to be in that headspace ever again.”

Cinders had no words. If he said he understood, he’d be wrong because he didn’t understand. If he said they’d go the distance, he had no guarantees. But he’d do his best to help Dillon in whatever way he could.

“I talked with Willow, and she hooked me up with a shrink. I know why I did what I did. He said I was punishing myself for what I saw as my weakness—for letting myself get caught and going along with the things I did atWet Dreams. I agree with him, but I think there’s more to it than that. I didn’t feel like I was worth anything. Who could want a man who has no control over his life? A man who can’t get out of his bad situation because he’s a prisoner? Until I got that opportunity to run, I lived in fear I’d be beaten to death.”

“I’ll never do anything to you that you don’t want. I have no problem giving you control.” He’d do whatever it took to make Dillon see he wasn’t worthless, weak or out of control. “As for who would want a man like you, I do. There’s more to you than your past. It shaped you, yeah, but getting out did, too. Being here is molding you into a guy who can control his life. You’re fighting a bone-deep impulse and winning. I’m in awe of you.” He cupped Dillon’s jaw. “You’re special. You’re handsome, too.” He wished he could convince the growing bulge in his shorts to cooperate and stand down a little longer. Jesus. Dillon had to think he was a horny bastard. “I want you to feel the way I see you—strong, handsome and unstoppable.”

“I’m definitely feeling something.” Dillon shivered. “I like it.”

“Do you?” Based on the way Dillon’s cock seemed to thrum beneath the denim of his jeans, yeah, Dillon liked what was happening. Cinders grinned. “I like it, too.”

“I want to show you something.” Dillon left Cinders’ lap. He whipped his shirt over his head. His hair stood on end, but the disheveled look worked for him. His eyes sparkled, despite the fear there, too. “When I was atWet Dreams, they weren’t nice.” He turned his back on Cinders. “If you can handle this, you can handle everything.”

Cinders paused. He swept his gaze over Dillon’s back. Holy shit. No wonder Dillon’s fur had grown in oddly—his human skin had been crisscrossed with scars. “Were you assaulted?” Cinders blurted. “Who did this?”

Dillon bowed his head. “Dirk was part ofWet Dreams. He’d been watching me. I don’t know how he knew I’d shift, but he did. He had an eye on me and knew I was wandering. I swear he pretended to find me. Once he had my confidence, he used me. I didn’t understand he was using me. I thought this was survival, then it hit me. People don’t treat each other this way. The wolves didn’t. When I didn’t comply, Dirk whipped me and used a belt on me.”

Jesus. Cinders scooted to the edge of the bed. His jaguar cried out for Dillon. The cat wanted to destroy Dirk and theWet Dreamsgroup, despite not knowing anyone connected to it. The guys fromStiffwho knew them weren’t anywhere around as far as he knew. They’d scattered whenStiffhad gone under.

“I understand if it’s too much,” Dillon said. “It’s my body, and I’m ashamed to show it. I tried to destroy me to get rid of the pain. Each cut and slash was there…I don’t know why.”

“You’re not alone.” Cinders traced the lines with his fingertips. “And I’m not going anywhere. I won’t give up.” He tugged Dillon onto his lap, with Dillon facing away from him. He hugged his wolf shifter. “I’m not letting go.”

“You’re sappy.” Dillon clutched Cinders’ arm. “But I like it.”

“Good.” Cinders kissed Dillon’s shoulder. Dillon had bared his soul. The enormity of the moment hadn’t been lost on Cinders. He cherished Dillon’s faith and trust in him. He’d shared a secret few would understand and many would fear. Not Cinders.

“So now what?” Dillon reclined on Cinders. “Where do we go from here?”

Part of Cinders wanted to make love to Dillon and prove they could keep moving forward. The rest of him needed to listen to his jaguar. The cat insisted on being with Dillon’s wolf.

Dillon turned on Cinders’ lap. “Are you changing your mind?”

“No.” He kissed the lines on Dillon’s back. The spiderweb design was sad, odd and pretty at the same time. The marks spoke of the difficulties Dillon had gone through and were there to tell the story. Cinders hated that Dillon had been assaulted but couldn’t help being thrilled he had Dillon in his arms. “My jaguar wants to be with your wolf. Not sex. Just cuddling and bonding. Shift with me?”

“You’re not afraid?”

“Of what?” He smoothed his palms over Dillon’s belly.

“Me.” Dillon stood. He blushed from his hairline to his chest.

“Why?”

“I’m not gross?” His eyes widened. “Not even now that you know the truth?”

“Nope. My jaguar loves you. My human side is coming around.” When Dillon tensed, Cinders held out his hand. “Slow down. Don’t think I don’t like you. I don’t believe in love at first sight or instant love or whatever it’s called. I doubt that kind of fast love exists. But I believe in the kind of love that happens when you find the person or shifter you’re supposed to be with and you become a team. I need you. We go forward, and we figure out what our animals already know. We’re meant to be us.” He removed the cop shirt and shimmied out of the shorts. He bared himself to Dillon. “My jaguar wants you, and he’s not backing down.”

He gave into the cat and shifted. Fur covered his body, and his muscles switched into the feline form. He swished his tail then jumped onto Dillon’s bed and stretched out.

Dillon rubbed his hands on his jeans legs.

Cinders thumped his tail and rested his head on his paws. He’d repeat a million times how much he believed in Dillon. He’d do it until Dillon accepted his words. The wolf shifter needed reassurance, and Cinders would gladly comfort him. He’d be strong enough for both of them until Dillon knew his worth.

Dillon hesitated another moment then removed his jeans and shifted into the wolf. The silvery gray hair on his head covered his body. He stretched and dug his claws into the carpet, then he climbed onto the bed. Within seconds, he curled up in the curve of Cinders’ body.

Cinders nuzzled Dillon’s neck, and a growl rumbled in Dillon’s throat. Cinders wasn’t threatened but instead thrilled. He didn’t care how long it took to fall in love with Dillon. It would happen. He had his man. The rest would fall into place. Why? Because he and Dillon had an unbreakable bond—he could feel it. Finding a man who brought out the best in him wasn’t impossible.

He drifted off to sleep. Dillon made him better. Dillon freed him. Cinders would stick with the wolf shifter, no matter what.

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