“Tanner.” He held the ballplayer’s hand. “We all have things change when we want them to stay the same. It’s natural to be upset.”
“Maybe.” Tanner laced his fingers with Dane’s. “I still think I should be big time. I have what it takes to play in the majors.”
“I have no doubt you do,” Dane murmured. Was he wrong to be loving this closeness?
“But I’m not headed for the pros. I’m probably done with baseball once my contract is up in Cedarwood,” Tanner said. “I’m getting too old to move to the next level.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-five.”
“That’s not bad.”
“It’s ancient. I should’ve moved up by now,” Tanner said. “They want young and talented. I’m talented, but I’m not young—by baseball standards.”
Dane wasn’t sure what to say. He’d never thought about the age range for athletes. “Don’t give up.”
“How can I not?” Tanner sat up and raked his fingers through his hair. “Do you know I got fan mail today?”
“I didn’t.”
“Five letters. One from a fan who wants to marry me. She’s a woman, but she doesn’t realize I’m gay. Two from kids who look up to me. Fine because I want to be a role model to them. But the other two letters are from this group in town. I didn’t open the envelopes until I got to the house. They came to the stadium.”
“Who are they from?” Dane sat up and matched Tanner’s pose. “What do they say?”
“I need to get the hell out of Cedarwood.” Tanner faced Dane. “If I’m going to be gay, I need to leave. If I’m not gay, but I’m living with a gay doctor, you might turn me gay. If you don’t turn me gay, I might realize I am homosexual and they don’t want my kind—our kind—in Cedarwood. Not only am I being pushed out for who I am, or am perceived to be, but because I’m aging out of the sport I love.”
Dane suppressed a growl. The coalition had struck again. He’d never understand why people couldn’t learn to get along. Why did the love life of Cedarwood residents have to be public fodder? And why couldn’t he and Tanner have a few hours of fun? What if they bent the rules more than a little? If he could give Tanner comfort for a while, he’d make the sacrifice—but could Tanner?
Chapter Five
Tanner groaned. He needed to center, but being with Dane messed him up. The worries over the letters, the comments from Zeppelin, his being out but not blunt about it…none of that mattered when he wanted to bury himself in Dane. He’d broken plenty of rules and, most of the time, didn’t care when he’d done it. But this was different. He wanted to be good enough for Dane.
“What are you thinking?” Dane asked.
He wanted Dane. He needed to be loved. He craved stability in his life. Could he say any of that? So soon? “My first game is tomorrow and I’m kind of freaking out.” Tanner faced Dane. He hadn’t lied. “How do you do it?”
“Do what?” Dane smoothed the wrinkles in Tanner’s T-shirt. “Put up with the coalition?” He paused. “Until a very short time ago, I didn’t know they had a name. But what I try to do is ignore them.”
“How is that working?” He needed to know. He’d try anything to get his head into the game.
“Depends on the day,” Dane said. “One week they leave me alone. The next week I get accosted at the store. I’m leery of new people, despite seeing new patients all the time at the office. I hate change, but I can’t stay away from it. I prefer to do my own thing. I don’t flaunt myself, but I’m not hiding, either.”
“How do you stay sane?” He’d be miserable in no time if he tried to ignore the haters.
“Did you notice I lived alone until you came along?” A tiny smile curled on Dane’s lips. “It’s not because I enjoy my own company.”
“And here I thought you did.” He tangled his legs with Dane’s again. This was what he missed—relaxing with his lover and having a sanctuary in the midst of the chaos. But he and Dane weren’t lovers.
“If you love your life and don’t engage the coalition, they’ll leave you alone. If you opt to fight, they’ll bring it. I try to stay below the radar, but I don’t lie about who I am.” Dane shrugged. “You’re doing what you love and being yourself. Don’t let a group of jerks take that away. I’m on your side. I want you to succeed.”
Tanner embraced the reassurance in Dane’s voice. “You are?”
“I’ve been there. I didn’t grow up in Cedarwood. I came here to work and haven’t left.” Dane settled on his back. “When I was offered the chance to live here, I thought I’d found a quiet town to doctor in with a friend of mine.” His voice caught. “I’m still here.”
“What happened to your friend?” Tanner paused. “If you don’t want to tell me, I understand.” He shouldn’t pry. “It’s not my business.”
“Ashton Pierce. We went to college and med school together. He told me about this town. He grew up here. He’d say it was quaint, quiet and friendly. All through our residency, he talked about coming back. He sold me on Cedarwood. Once residency was over, he got into the practice I’m at today. He knew the head doctor who opened the original office—right next door to the hospital. It was almost too good to be true, but I went along with Ashton’s ideas.”