Page 16 of Rainbows Over Cedarwood

Chapter Six

Ashley scrubbed both hands over his face and sighed. In the last few days, he’d exchanged texts with Colt. Nothing exciting, but it was communication. He’d tried to call Colt Wednesday and Thursday nights, but the line had gone straight to voicemail. Either Colt had been busy or hadn’t listened to his messages. Now it was Friday night. He’d driven past the diner, but the place had been jumping. No way he’d get a chance to talk to Colt.

Why was he beating himself up with desire for a man who wasn’t interested? No, Colt sort of seemed interested, but gave off a strange vibe. Like he wanted to be romanced but couldn’t take the next step. Then why did Ashley want to keep trying? Because part of him desired for Colt to change his mind. As much as he believed he could accept Colt as a friend, he still wanted a shot with him.

Instead of stopping by the diner, he’d driven to his mother’s home. The voicemail from his mom rang in his head.

‘Come over so we can visit and talk.’

Whenever she said that, she wanted more than a visit and the talk was never good.

“Doesn’t Wyatt look so happy out in the backyard?” Brenda Willis, Ashley’s mother, asked.

“Yes, Ma, he does.” Of course the kid was happy. He had a swing set to play on and a tree house. Any kid would love the freedom of a backyard for play, especially a kid like Wyatt, who spent so much time cooped up in the apartment.

Ashley balled his fists on his lap. He shouldn’t be so tense. This was his mother and her house. He should feel comfortable there. But he didn’t. She kept plastic slipcovers on the couch and chairs and plastic on the carpet. She refused to allow dust to collect on her knickknacks. He hated bringing Wyatt here because the kid was a regular kid—he made messes.

But she was Ashley’s mother and not visiting her seemed harsh.

“You don’t have to sound angry.” Brenda sat next to him on the couch. The plastic snapped and clicked as she moved. “I’m just across town, but you never want to be here. Wyatt does.”

“You have a big yard. He loves that,” Ashley said. He hated himself for feeling so unhappy. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Now who wanted him? He eased the device from his back pocket and swiped his thumb across the screen. A text. From Colt? He could only hope.

“You’re distracted.” His mother swatted his leg. “More phone business?”

Ashley checked the message. From Colt.Yes!He pulled up the screen and read the words.

What about an all-inclusive kind of thing? Like have everyone have a chance to speak there? Booths and such for everyone? Let me know what you think. C

The ideas did sound good. They wanted to make the event inclusive. No matter how people felt about the LGBTQ community, they weren’t barred from taking part. The idea was smart, but what if the negatives outweighed the positives? What if there was a problem? He shouldn’t think so badly of the people in town. Besides, he should’ve been worrying about Colt. He loved spending time with Colt, but their closeness hadn’t gotten beyond chatting about the event and their pasts. He needed to call Colt and put himself out there.

“Ashley Rowan Willis.”

Shit.He snapped his attention from the screen to his mother. “Sorry.” He shoved his phone into his front pocket. “No more twiddling with the device.”

“What are you thinking about?” Brenda asked.

He couldn’t tell her the truth. Hell, when he’d come out to her, she’d thrown him out. Things were better between them, but every other time he’d mentioned a guy in his life, she’d bristled. “I’m thinking about the support group and why you wanted us to come over.”

“The support group?”

Ashley left the couch and strolled through the house to the kitchen. He watched Wyatt giggling on the swing and kicking his legs. “The LGBTQ support group. It helps. I have someone to talk to and can work out some of my problems.” That wasn’t the half of it, but he wasn’t going to go into those details.

“Good. You need someone. I wish Danica was still around. Maybe the two of you could’ve gotten married. I’m sure Wyatt would’ve liked to have his mother and father living in the same house.” Brenda stood beside him. “Don’t you agree?”

“No, Ma, I don’t. I’m gay. Marrying Danica would’ve been cruel to both of us and awful for Wyatt. She wasn’t in love with me. She loved Kelley, but Kelley wasn’t interested in being a parent. I’ve told you this. I helped her create Wyatt, but we both knew the score.”

“You could’ve gotten along for him.” She pointed to the window. “Wyatt needed you together.”

“He needs a family that loves him and a home. I’m his family and the apartment is our home. I wish you’d understand and accept that.”

“I’m trying.” She sighed. “No, I’ve accepted it. I asked this last time because I wanted to be sure.”

“What do you mean?” He stared at his mother. “You’ve never wanted to accept my life.”

“You’re right. I had a hard time with you…wanting to stick your…in…a guy.” She leaned against the sink and gripped the edge of the countertop. “It’s hard. I expected you to grow up and get married. To start a family and live down the street. I wanted to share pictures of my grandkids and perfect family with my friends.”

“You can’t share pictures of Wyatt?” He understood her having issues with his sexuality. She wasn’t the only person in the world to be upset because they’d raised a gay kid. He didn’t agree with her feelings, but she was still his mother.

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