Page 17 of Rainbows Over Cedarwood

“I can.” She paused then sighed. “You’ve got your support group and I have mine.” She faced Ashley. “I started talking to a few ladies at the nursing home. When I’m not working with the patients, I’ve got friends and we discuss our lives. They know about Wyatt and you. My one friend Colette mentioned her son was gay, and before you ask, no, I didn’t try to put you two together. What I did do was ask her how she dealt with him. She thought I was crazy. It took listening to her chatter about her family for me to realize I was the one losing out. You and Wyatt don’t visit often and I’m not exactly dying to visit you—or I wasn’t.”

He stared at her. She had to be losing her mind. His mother, although he loved her, had never fully accepted him. For her to all of a sudden change her mind blew his.

“I’m sorry I’ve been a shitty mother.” She patted the front of Ashley’s shirt. “I know you never thought you’d hear that, but it’s true. I’ve missed out on Wyatt’s baby years and seeing him get this big because I’ve wanted to keep you at arm’s length. I was wrong.”

“Yeah.” He swallowed past the lump of emotion in his throat.Holy shit.She wasn’t kidding. He didn’t believe his ears.

“To that end, I want to make things better. Wyatt’s still little enough that he doesn’t get what was going on. I can still fix things with him with little damage. I’ve got a lot of work to do with you and I accept that.”

“Ma…wow.”

“Oh, you haven’t heard the wow yet.” She swatted his chest again, smoothing his shirt. “I wanted you to come over and let Wyatt play in the yard because I want him to live here—with you.”

“Ma, I am not living with you. You kicked me out right after high school. Just because things are tight doesn’t mean I’m going to come back. I made my bed, so to speak, and I’m living with it. We’re happy.”

She frowned. “I’m not expecting you to live here with me. Good Lord.” She shook her head. “I meant, I want you and Wyatt to have the house.”

“Wait, so you’re going to soothe your soul and give us the house? Come on, Ma.” Ashley shrugged away from her. He’d never had the best relationship with either of his parents, but he never would’ve guessed his mother would do something so…odd.

“Ashley, stop. I want you to have the house because I’m not going to use it.”

That stopped Ashley in his tracks. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.” She stopped opposite him and cocked her head to the side. “I got your attention, though. That’s what I wanted.”

“You got it all right.”And worried me sick.“What’s going on, then?”

“My friend Millie—you remember her, she was the one with the four dachshunds—has cancer. The dogs are gone and so is her husband. Since I’m a registered nurse, I’m qualified to stay with her and to care for her. It’s bad and I can’t let her go through this alone.” His mother grasped his hand. “That’s the thing here. Going through this with Millie, seeing her losing her battle…it made me understand what you’re going through. You lost your best friend because of cancer.”

He nodded, unsure of what to say. Tears stung behind his eyes. Thinking about the lady with the four wiggly dogs brought back memories. She’d been his mother’s best friend and now she was dying. The emotions—loss, devastation, hurt, anger—all came back in waves. He hugged his mother as she clung to him.

“I’ve been going to her house all summer. I should’ve been trying to get in touch with you more, but she needed me. Anyway, we talked about her daughter, who is now her son. Just like you, he was living his life and being himself. It just took him forever to realize who he was inside. That’s what helped me put the pieces together. I missed so much. I can’t do that any longer.”

“Thanks, Ma.” He hugged her and sagged in her embrace. God. She’d been through a lot in order to understand her own kid.

“I want you to have the house.” She cleared her throat and let go of Ashley. “You’re going to need more room for Wyatt. That apartment isn’t going to work forever. And what about you? You’re going to want to have a boyfriend over and you can’t in that apartment. Here, you can. There’s room.” She wiped tears from her cheeks. “Please?”

“Ma.” Her idea was smart—kind of. “What are you going to do when…the inevitable happens? You’ll want to come home.”

“I’ve thought about that, too. I’m getting an apartment. Not yours, but one in the retirement community. Like staff quarters, and that way I can work with the other patients who are going through what Millie is dealing with.” She picked up a piece of paper. “Look. I’ve got most of this worked out. All I need is for you to agree so I know the house isn’t going to sit empty.”

“Ma, I have to work out the lease. I’ve got another six months on the agreement.” But having space for Wyatt would be good. The boyfriend matter was something else entirely, and honestly, he had no plans on getting one. For all he knew, the situation with Colt would be just for the event and done when the event ended.

“Can you sublet?” Brenda asked. She flicked a wisp of silver hair away from her face. “Maybe one of the other teachers or something?”

“I don’t know.” He massaged his temples. “It’s a good idea. It really is. I want Wyatt to have space to play and a room that’s not right next to mine, but I need to think this through. Okay?”

“I understand.”

“You’ve hit me with a lot.” He shook his head. “Last I knew, you were ashamed of me for being gay and against me having a kid. You wanted me to get married to a girl. Now you’re okay with me and my choices. I want to believe you, but it’s hard. This is a total change for you.”

“Which is why I’m not trying to force anything. If it works, then it does. If not, then fine.” She smiled, but the smile wobbled. “I made mistakes and I’m sorry. If I’d known I’d lose out on so much time with you and Wyatt, I’d have done things differently.”

Before Ashley could say anything else, Wyatt bounded into the house. His hair stuck up, plastered there by sweat, and his cheeks burned red. Perspiration glistened on his forehead. “Dad, I’m hungry.”

“We’ll get something.” He didn’t expect his mother to feed them. But there was another option. “Why don’t we all go up to the diner?”

“Yeah!” Wyatt pumped his arms. “We can see Colt, too.”

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