Page 27 of Rainbows Over Cedarwood

The tips of Ashley’s ears burned as he shook his head and closed the door. He wandered down the hallway to the stairs. He ended up on the ground floor. The little green light on his phone blinked. He checked the device. One email message. He swiped the screen and retrieved the message.

To Ashley Willis

From Colin Baker

Hope you’re holding up okay. I have word on the festival. Farin secured permits for a public gathering. Since the coalition wants to gather, we’ll give them a good party. Show them there’s no reason we can’t all get along. Call me in the morning. I’ve emailed the others in the group, too, but say something to Colton if you see him. Hope he’s doing okay after the incident at the diner. I tried to call him but couldn’t get an answer. Let me know.

Colin

At least someone was thinking positive. He had no idea what they were going to do at this festival, but the town needed the reality check—the LGBTQ community wasn’t the root of the problem. So what if men wanted to be with other men or women wanted to be with other women? Who cared? Whoever anyone wanted to sleep with was their business. He closed the message and turned off his phone. He left the device on the table then wandered into the living room and yanked a blanket off the quilt rack.

Ashley collapsed on the couch and stretched out. He needed sleep, but couldn’t. His thoughts flooded with memories of the kiss with Colt and Colt’s words. He was adored by Colt—well, he seemed to be. He never would’ve thought that was possible—not by another guy and especially not after his split with Lane.

He closed his eyes and settled under the blanket, but his brain refused to shut down. Why was he thinking about Lane at a time like this? Because Lane had forced him to be cautious. But everything within him wanted to toss that caution to the wind and chase Colt. He’d lost his mind.

Wouldn’t Lane agree?

You’re putting yourself out there. You’re giving him power. How can you be sure he won’t dick you over? You’ve got a kid. He’ll find out how hard it is to have a kid. All those perks that aren’t perks. He’ll change his mind and you’ll be alone. Alone with a kid and so much baggage. No one will want you. You’ll want me back, but I won’t be there either.

He opened his eyes. Fuck Lane. Fuck his stupid close-minded rationales.

“Ash? Are you okay?”

Colt? He opened his eyes and opened his mouth to scream, but thankfully no sound came out.

“Hey.” Colt sat on the edge of the couch. He grasped Ashley’s hand. “You were talking to yourself. Everything okay? Bad dream?”

He finally found his voice. “Was it loud?”

“Not very.” Colt had donned his jeans. “What were you talking about? Lane? Kids?”

He’d have to explain his ex sooner or later. Might as well be now. “It’s a long story.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.” Colt brushed his fingers across Ashley’s cheek. “It’s late. Probably a bad dream. You’ll be fine in the morning.”

“No—not really.” He sat up and reached for Colt. “Sit. I need to get this out.”

Colt settled opposite Ashley on the couch and held Ashley’s hand.

“Ma had a thing for a guy named Ashley in a movie. He was handsome in an old-fashioned, classy kind of way. And while I was a kid, I wanted to be that classy guy. I had the different crap to deal with in my family and I thought—despite my worries—that getting out would be the best for all of us. I told you about Danica, but I haven’t really explained Lane.”

Colt rubbed the top of Ashley’s hand with his thumb. The small gesture soothed Ashley.

“I know it’s early—in the day and our relationship—but I can’t not say this.” He squeezed Colt’s fingers. “I don’t expect you to stick around after this. I’m messed up. I’ve pushed you away and led you on. I’m not a good person to be with.”

Colt shook his head. “I’ve had my share of fucked-up situations. I don’t break that easily. I get it. You’re guarded and you’ve got a kid, but I’m in too deep. I like you and I’m fond of him. Don’t worry about it.”

The words reassured him but not as much as they should have. Ashley exhaled and forced himself to get the words out. “Lane used to tease me about my name. No guy wanted to be called Ashley. He called me Ash or made up names for me. It’s funny. Danica thought we’d be so good together. On paper, Lane and I were a match. He was the handsome, loud, outgoing one. Me, the quiet, reserved and not-so-good-looking one.”

“That’s bullshit. You’re very handsome.”

“If you want a geeky guy who loves art and comic books.”

Colt grinned then kissed Ashley. “I’ve got a thing for geeky guys named Ashley who don’t happen to see just how sexy they are. Comic books are good. Art is awesome. I’m not seeing a downside to you.”

He didn’t want to believe Colt. The words had to be meant to help Colt’s chances with Ashley, but Ashley liked hearing them. Somewhere deep in his soul, he held on to the hope that he could be enough for Colt.

“Lane tore you down. Having a kid was too hard for him, right? The clubbing? I bet he even said there wasn’t a guy out there who would love a man with a son because the kid would hold you back, right?” Colt asked.

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