Page 25 of Rocking Cedarwood

He pumped his hips a few more times as the orgasm rumbled through him. “Come for me, Niall.”

“Fuck,” Niall said, drawing the word out. He tensed beneath Michael and squeezed his asshole. He held Michael tight within him. Another shudder racked his body before he moaned and collapsed.

Michael let go of Niall and braced himself on his hands as he eased out of Niall’s hole. He needed to ditch the condom and wanted to lay with Niall. They’d just shared one hell of an intimate moment and he refused to let it end. When he stood, his knees wobbled. He swatted at Niall’s ass, brushing his fingers across Niall’s skin.

“Crawl onto the bed,” Michael said. He managed to stand without help and removed the used condom. He tossed the rubber into the waste bin then wobbled over to the mattress. The moment he landed on the sheets and breathed in the scent of Niall, he knew—he’d found his place. He belonged with Niall.

Niall cuddled up beside Michael and sighed. “I know you have to go.” He kissed Michael’s bare chest and rested his head over Michael’s heart. “You wore me out, but I like it.” His breathing evened out. He squeezed Michael’s midsection. “When you leave, let me know. Wake me up and say something. Don’t just disappear. I like you more than I thought I could and I’m tired of being alone.” He paused. “I can’t ask you to date only me, but I’m not interested in dating anyone else. Don’t want anyone else.”

Michael sucked in a ragged breath. He’d hoped to hear those words from Niall, but he knew better than to expect them. Now his crazy dream was at the cusp of coming true. But he wasn’t able to be honest with Niall.

“I don’t need my shields up when I’m with you.” Niall sighed again. “I’m me when I’m with you. Nothing to hide.” He moaned and stopped moving.

Michael stared at the ceiling of Niall’s bedroom. He couldn’t sleep—not when he couldn’t shut off his brain. Niall claimed he could be himself with Michael.

Not Michael. He still clung to the idea he could have two identities and few people would be none the wiser. He debated his next move. He had no choice but to go on tour. He could text message Niall and video chat, but then he’d have to explain the shaved head and different locations each time they talked. Eventually Niall would ask questions.

He could break things off in the morning and ask to pick back up in the fall. He rolled his eyes. That wouldn’t work and it was inhumane. He’d gained Niall’s trust and what was he wanting to do? Crush it. No, he refused to do that.

He went through his mental list of items needed for the tour. He hadn’t packed much and kept a bunch of stuff on the bus. He missed his guitar. If he had the instrument, he could lull himself to sleep. Maybe he’d even impress Niall.

Fuck. The same problem kept cropping up. Niall. He liked his friend and wanted to keep up the relationship.

He’d have to disclose his other life. Niall deserved the truth.

But what if Niall walked away?

Then Michael would know they weren’t a good fit and would save himself heartache. Hell, he could use the shitty feelings for his music…but he didn’t want to go through hell for his music. He wanted to be in a good place for a change.

Michael closed his eyes and sleep overtook him. He’d have to worry about Niall and disclosing the truth later.

When he woke in the morning, Niall snored beside him. He breathed in the scent of old wood and polish in Niall’s house. He could see himself living there. Unfortunately, he needed to go. He checked the clock. Six a.m. If he got moving, he’d have plenty of time to gather his crap before he had to leave. He scooted out of bed and searched the floor for his clothes.

“Heya.” Niall stretched but didn’t leave the bed. “Gotta go?”

“I do.” He stepped into his pants then wadded his vest and underwear up together. Where were his shirt and socks? “I’ve got to be in to work at eight.”

“Ah.” Niall sat up and scrubbed both hands over his face. “I meant to ask you something yesterday and forgot.”

“Oh?” He located his shirt and turned the garment right side out. “What?” He could only imagine what Niall wanted to ask.

“Yesterday before I finished getting supper around, I got a phone call.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “The person on the other end of the line said something about asking you about Bandit.”

Fuck.His blood ran cold. Only two people knew his secret besides him. He wanted to know who blew it. “What about Bandit? I’ve got all their songs on my MP3 player in the car. I like his stuff.” He should sincehewas Bandit.

Niall frowned. “I cannot wake up.” He leaned back on his hands. “Okay, so the person said I needed to get the hell out, but I can’t remember what. He also said I needed to ask about your future, whatever that is.” He looked Michael in the eye. “I don’t know what the deal is, but all I ask is for you to be honest.”

He had to think fast. “I don’t know what the person meant about getting out.” He found his socks and sat on the edge of the bed to put them on. He couldn’t look Niall in the eye when he explained himself. “I’m a bad boyfriend to have because I have to work all summer and I don’t have much time for a social life. You’ve seen my house. It’s so tiny. I figure if I save up, I can eventually afford something bigger.” He’d spoken the truth. He wanted a bigger place, but he didn’t want to let on about his musical career.

“Makes sense. Where do you work?”

Shit.What was he supposed to say? The longer he hesitated, the worse things would get for him. “In Cleveland, downtown. That’s how I can meet you after the concert. I’ll already be there.” Not at all, but he couldn’t be honest. Besides, Niall would never believe him.

“Oh.”

“I’ll text you and call you when I can.” He stood. He wasn’t going to be able to look Niall in the eyes, but he couldn’t leave without a kiss. He turned to his boyfriend. Fuck. His boyfriend. He’d gotten in too deep, but he didn’t want out either. “I need to go.” He knelt on the edge of the bed and leaned in for a kiss. “It won’t be long.”

“Yeah.” Niall palmed Michael’s cheek. “I don’t understand any of what you told me, but I’ll trust you.”

Niall’s words sliced straight through Michael. For a split second, he wanted to tell Niall the truth. He held back and kissed his boyfriend again. “Won’t be long until I’m back and school starts.”

Michael forced a smile. As he walked down the stairs and left Niall’s house, the full weight of what he’d done and what he was about to do crashed down on him.God, I’m a shit.He climbed behind the wheel of his car and forced himself to leave his boyfriend’s home. If he stuck around, he’d never go out on tour. Would Niall love him when he found out the truth? People tended to want the man fronting the band, not the teacher. Would Niall be one of those people to turn him away once he learned the truth? The last time Michael let anyone in, the relationship ended in disaster. His ex hadn’t wanted to be with a poor teacher. No, he had wanted a rich rock star.

Christ. He didn’t like who he saw when he looked in the mirror. Bandit was confident. Bandit knew what to say. Michael needed his lesson plans and running. Was he good enough and exciting in his life as a teacher to keep Niall interested? He wasn’t sure.

As he drove away from Niall’s, he spoke to his lover—not that Niall could hear him. “I’m sorry, babe. I fucked up. I am Bandit and I’m heading out on tour. I want you to love me for me, not the guy on the stage. I can’t ask you to believe in me, since I know I’ve torn your trust to hell, but I’m falling in love with you. I don’t deserve you and I’m scared I’m going to lose you because I can’t be honest.” He stopped at the traffic light and rested his head on the steering wheel. “Give me a chance and it’ll all make sense. I’ll make this up to you. Just don’t give up on me.”

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