Page 32 of Rocking Cedarwood

He sighed. “He tried to get me to pay him, kind of. Then he pissed me off by trying to come on to me.” He dipped his head. “But he made me see what I really wanted.”

“Niall?”

“Yeah. I need to choose. Be the teacher or be Bandit. I can’t.” He held up his hands. “If I quietly walk away from the band, then the fans are pissed and I lose my creative outlet. If I come out to the fans, then I’m almost guaranteed to lose my job at the school. I love my kids and my classroom, but I know Cedarwood won’t like my split personality. Either way I go, there’s no guarantee I’ll get a future with Niall. Giving up my secret could all be for nothing and I’ll lose everything.”

Saying the words out loud knocked the wind out of him. Fuck. Until he’d reasoned through his issue, he hadn’t realized just how deep in he’d gotten himself.

“I can’t help you with the school board. You’re right. They won’t like knowing one of their fourth-grade teachers is moonlighting as a guy who sings about nightmares and getting fucked over by lovers. The makeup won’t endear them, no.” Dexter matched Michael’s folded arm stance. “So I ask you. Which do you want more? The teaching job? Or the band? We can get you out of the band and replace Bandit with someone else. It won’t be the same and the fans will be pissed, but you can duck out without anyone knowing Michael is Bandit—except for Niall. You could teach, but you’d have to hope Niall would keep his mouth shut. Then there’s the coalition. They won’t let this thing die. They know the truth, since Leif told them, so even if Niall didn’t spill the beans, you know they will. If you don’t think you can live without the band but can live without the school, then do that. But do whatever you need to and fast.”

“What about Niall?” Michael widened his stance. “I trust him, but I know he won’t ever trust me.”

“You’ll have to suck it up and be honest with him. All the way and accept whatever it is he says is going to happen.” Dexter checked his thick wristwatch. “But first, you’ve got a concert to perform.”

“That’s my job.” He’d always said he couldn’t sing when he was happy. Tonight, he was anything but happy. He’d fucked up so much. At least now he’d be convincingly dark in his tone. He stepped up to the mirror and eased the piercing back into place. He could live without the band and without his teaching career. He could probably live without Niall as his boyfriend, but he wouldn’t make it if he didn’t have Niall as his friend.

He stuck the dark glasses back on his face and headed out to the hall leading to the various dressing rooms. Michael and his problems weren’t important right now. Only Bandit was and he needed to don his makeup.

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