Page 43 of Rocking Cedarwood

“Hey.” Michael tugged Niall into the solace of the elevator car and closed the doors. “Funny to see you here.”

“Yeah.” He stood along the wall and kept space between him and Michael. “What are you doing?”

“I went looking for you.” Michael tapped the keypad. “I didn’t like how you’d left.”

“You needed to think and I was in the way.” He stayed on the opposite wall from his boyfriend. “I understand. You needed space.” He didn’t really comprehend what was happening, but he didn’t want to push.

The bell pinged before Michael could say anything else. He held the door for Niall.

Although he still wasn’t sure what to do, Niall stood in the corridor until Michael exited the car. “It’s easier to think when you’re not being watched,” Niall said. He followed Michael into the penthouse. He didn’t see Dex or anyone else. The silence unnerved him. “Where’s the circus?”

“I wanted everyone gone when we did this.” Michael shrugged out of his leather coat. He focused on Niall. “I’ve made mistakes. Lots of them.”

“Me too.” A lump formed in his throat. His stomach grumbled. “It happens.”

“But those mistakes were because I wanted something too much,” Michael said. “I pushed and dragged you along without ever considering what would happen. All I saw was needing you with me.”

“Love makes us crazy.” Niall shrugged to hide his concern. He seemed to be doing that too much—hiding how he felt. “I should’ve told you what I’d learned.”

“No.”

The terse tone stopped Niall short. “No?”

“I knew what I was doing. I wanted all my loves at the same time. I need music and the rush of the crowd, but I thrive in my classroom. I love my kids.”

“They’re great.”

“Agreed.” Michael inched closer to Niall. “I knew I was juggling a lot. One slip and I can lose everything. The fans are split on me being gay and having a boyfriend, but I will always have the band. I won’t always have my teaching job. I’ve been given an ultimatum. Either quit the band or quit my job. The school board doesn’t like my choice to have a double life.”

Niall sank onto the arm of the overstuffed chair. “Michael.” How could he choose?

“The thing is, I love my life in Cedarwood. Until Leif exposed everything, I had the whole situation balanced. My life is good,” Michael said.

“But where is your life?” Niall asked.

“With you.”

He wasn’t sure what to say. So many things were in flux.

“I’ve enjoyed our week together. Having you here is better than I could’ve ever have imagined. I’m happy, settled and in love. But I’m pulling you from what you want. I made you choose between me and your life. That’s not fair.”

“It’s give and take,” Niall said. His heart broke and he had a bad feeling he was looking at goodbyes with Michael. He loved his boyfriend so much, but it sure felt like Michael was pulling away.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I can’t make you choose me. I can’t force you to abandon what you love because I’m needy.” Michael scrubbed the top of his head again. “I’m sorry.”

“Michael.” Niall’s knees buckled.

“Dex called the school. I’m a huge deal.” He met Niall’s gaze. “They want me to make a decision, but I’m not going to be fired. I’m not a bad enough influence to warrant removal, but they don’t like my double life.” His voice, normally strong, cracked. “But I’m pursuing both dreams and if I’m willing to work with the high school students by doing the musicals and a rock concert series or something, they’re willing to give me the freedom to have both lives. Step out of line and I’m toast.”

Niall took a moment to process what he’d heard, but he was thrilled. “Michael, that’s wonderful. You’ve got everything you want.”

“Not you.”

Niall frowned. “Huh?”

“Everything I have already means nothing without you.” Michael dropped to his knees at Niall’s feet. “Once the summer tour is over, I’m heading back to Cedarwood. There won’t be a tour next summer so we can do some recording. I love my life in Cedarwood. I love my job at the school and I want a lot of things, but I’m begging for you to keep space for me in your life. I love you the most.”

Tears burned at the corners of Niall’s eyes. “Michael.”

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