Page 26 of Finding Forever in Cedarwood

Chapter Six

Liam’s heart hammered. He’d made a bold move. How would Stone react? Push him away? Encourage him?

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Stone asked. “You won’t decide you want to take the gesture back?”

The words cut him deep, but he deserved it. He’d been an asshole back at the community center. “I grew up in the film industry. My mother decided I was the cutest baby ever and I’d be good in commercials. I started at age two.”

Stone’s eyebrows rose. “I was busy trying to adopt my first cat.”

“I wanted a dog, but you know that story,” Liam said. Unburdening felt good. He needed to have someone else in on his tale. Besides, Stone made talking easy and relaxing. “I found out years later that my mother put me in the industry because she wanted to be a star and she figured she’d get there on my back.”

“Did she?”

“Become a star? You’ve never heard the names Hillary Grover or DeeAnn Hill, right?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“See? She’s not a star. Never made it past the first audition.”

“Is your last name really Grover?”

“Her last name used to be, yes. She married a man named Martin Grover. I kept my dad’s name—Blackwell. That said, everyone around Cedarwood thinks my last name is just Black because it’s the false one I gave,” Liam said. “I’m lousy at undercover.”

“Ah.”

“I did commercials until I was seven. That’s when I landedThe First Family. I did that show for five years.” He’d loved working on the show. The family was his. He’d rather be with them than going home. At least on set, people cared about him. All his mother wanted was for him to introduce her to an agent or producer. Martin just wanted him to get paid so he could go drinking.

“I watched that show. Weren’t you Billy?”

“I was.” Another wave of embarrassment hit. If he’d been able to do the part now, he would’ve done it differently and been more mature.What did I know about mature at age twelve?“Did you like it?”

“Arthur did.” Stone petted Missy, who continued to bathe Champ. “He had a thing for Shaun.”

“Everyone did. Girls, boys, women who could’ve been his mother…” When he thought back on that time, he couldn’t help but smile. He’d wondered about his sexuality when he’d walked in on Shaun and one of the extras kissing. He hadn’t wanted to kiss the girl. No, he’d been attracted to Shaun. Good thing the show had ended before he’d had a chance to act on his feelings. Then again, if he’d have said something, maybe Shaun would still be around. “The week after we got canceled, Shaun wrecked his car. I never asked anyone, but I swear he did it because he didn’t think he’d get another role. I know I had to go back to commercials. Who wanted to hire a gangly almost thirteen-year-old? I wasn’t mature enough to play an adult, even if I had the body of one, and that body prevented me from playing my age.”

“I kept outgrowing Arthur’s hand-me-down shoes. Drove our mother crazy.”

“I would’ve killed to have a brother.” He rested his head on Stone’s shoulder. “I got bit parts on other television shows, usually playing a teen criminal. I shot Brittany Delay, knocked up Tory Johnson and helped Lena Choy hack her best friend to bits—all on film. People thought I was that delinquent.”

“So you played the part in public,” Stone said. “I bet it sucked.”

“Sometimes it did.” He petted Elmore, who had trotted over and collapsed next to him. “The thing is, I knew I wasn’t a bad kid. I knew I could be a pain in the ass, but I knew I had more determination than Shaun. Brit, Tor and Lena were nice and we’re all still friends, but I only got with them because I was pushed.”

“You wanted to buck Hollywood?”

“I had a feeling I was gay when I wanted to kiss Shaun and not Teresa. Then on the set ofRhapsody, I watched Jack Moore strip naked. I wanted to suck his cock, rather than go to town with my then costar, Michelle. The media wanted me to be girl-crazy and I’ve had this notion I’d never been taken seriously as an actor if I tried to play straight while being gay.”

“You’ve proven that wrong.”

“Not really. Only a handful of people know the truth.” Admitting that out loud hurt. He was a fraud. Being himself was great as long as no one else knew about it. How was he supposed to have a relationship that way?

“Living that double life had to be rough. Arthur tried to deny who he was and it didn’t work. Janie, his last girlfriend, knew he liked pole and tried to accommodate. I give her credit for trying and sticking it out as long as she did,” Stone said. “They’re still friends.”

“I hate the double life.”

“Yet you keep living it.”

“I know.”

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