Page 27 of Finding Forever in Cedarwood

“Why?”

He sat up and faced Stone. He had to be upfront. “I was afraid. Would I be hired to play the romantic lead if the producers didn’t think I could act attracted to my costar? Would the Hollywood machine spit me out and turn its back on me if I came out? I want to act. I want to hone my craft and be myself.”That’s too much to ask.

“Some women like gay men more than straight—aside from the stereotypical reason that they like our sense of style. Amy explained it to me once,” Stone said. “When she realized I liked guys, she liked me more because we could commiserate over which guys passed us by. She knew I wouldn’t hit on her and I’d be honest. She’s also said she’d love to watch me with my boyfriend—I don’t know how I feel about that, but whatever.”

He understood. Amy didn’t see Stone as competition with men and didn’t have to worry about competing with other women for his attention. They were equals. “Has it ever been hard to be out?”

“In Cedarwood? Hell yes. That crazy Coalition will try anything to run the LGBTQ community out of town. They think straight is the only way to go. I hated having to drive to Cleveland to go out because I didn’t want to risk being seen. Then I realized the Coalition had too much power over me. I’m here to take care of animals and love my family. I’m here for my friends. If that sets the Coalition off, then that’s on them. I’m not going to be someone I’m not to make someone else happy.”

“I understand.” He wasn’t ready to admit those things out loud to anyone else or be that far out of the closet, but he appreciated Stone more. He rested his head on Stone’s shoulder again. Food sounded good, and a few hours’ sleep, but he wouldn’t trade anything for these moments with Stone. He was in awe of the man. Stone loved his life and was happy without the spotlight.Is that a possibility for me, too?

“What?” Stone asked. “Why are you so quiet?”

He sat up again and stared at Stone. “I want to grow up and be confident like you.”

“Like me?” He laughed and startled Elmore. “Sorry, El.” He turned his attention back to Liam. “I’m not confident. I kept going back to a dirtbag because I thought I didn’t deserve any better.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’m not handsome like Arthur. I talk too much and ask too many questions. I want to meet people’s dogs and cats, not necessarily the people. Guys think I’m strange.”

“Not me,” Liam said. He’d begun to see the rationale for being friends with the pets. Animals didn’t talk back.

“You’re one of the few,” Stone said. “But thank you for the compliment.”

“I mean it. Since I’ve come to Cedarwood, I’m looking at things a lot differently,” Liam said. “WhenRhapsodywrapped, I did three television movies and a dozen small parts in feature films, but I also did too much blow, drank more than I ever should’ve and looked for any way to fill the void in my soul. I don’t feel so empty.”

“That void that screamed you weren’t being honest with yourself? Was that it?”

“I had boyfriends, but they had to sign non-disclosure agreements, per my agent, to date me. That’s a shit way to start a relationship,” Liam said. “So yeah, that’s the void. You don’t seem to have one.”

“I’m not that special.”

“I lied too much and ignored the people I cared about because of my career.” Liam trailed his fingers over Stone’s cheek. “I don’t regret my acting work, but I regret how I treated people.”

“You’re forgiven.” Stone closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against Liam’s hand. “How’d you end up in Cedarwood? Are you filming a show here?” He opened his eyes. “If I don’t ask questions, I’ll forget why we came back and kiss you.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Liam said. He rested his forehead against Stone’s. “I’m here because of a movie.”

“Oh.” Stone averted his gaze, but didn’t pull away.

“It’s prep for a movie role,” Liam said. He’d lost a bit of the connection with Stone.Damn it.“You know Tanner Fox, don’t you?”

“He and Dr. Dan adopted a dog and cat last year from the shelter. They’re nice guys. Their little boy loves to pet the dogs and could spend hours in the cattery.”

“I dated Tanner for a hot second,” Liam admitted. “We spent like an evening in a club together and fucked afterwards, but that was it. We never would’ve worked out and I’m glad he found the doctor. He deserves to be happy.” He paused. Maybe he liked to talk a little too much, too. “Anyway, I called and asked him for help because I wanted to research small towns.”

“Ah.”

“I’m contracted to play a farmer in a small town for a television movie. The character’s name is Ned,” Liam said. “I know nothing about towns and even less about farming.”

Stone pulled away and nodded. “I see.”

“I wanted to learn how to be a small-towner. I’ve only ever lived in a city and never in my own house.”

The muscle in Stone’s jaw twitched.

“What?” He’d screwed up again. He thought Stone would be relieved to know the truth. “You’ve heard my secrets. I don’t tell anyone that kind of stuff.”

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