Page 11 of Starting Over in Cedarwood

“I haven’t checked that out, but I will,” Shaun said. “Do you run?”

“It breaks up the day and lets me blow off frustration.” This time, he’d ask Shaun to come along. He’d do it. Talking to Shaun was easier than he’d expected.

“Oh yeah, I’d run for that reason. Might have to start running mid-afternoon.” Shaun drank more of his coffee, and silence enveloped them.

Kevin wasn’t sure what to talk about. He couldn’t disclose everything right away.

“You asked about why I’m here—besides the race, I thought it might be nice to put down roots. No one knew me here, so I could be myself,” Shaun said. He finished his drink and nudged the cup away. “It’s nice to not have to play up to an image or be something I’m not.”

Kevin stared at him. Shaun was handsome and seemed normal, but thesomething he wasn’tcomment rankled with him. “Why? Did you have to live up to the antics of a sibling or did you do something you regret?” God, he sounded nosy. “I mean…never mind.”

“I’m not running from anything, no.” Shaun laughed. “I wanted to buy a house, even though I haven’t yet because there are too many choices and I don’t have any siblings. Just my folks and me. Well, no. There’s my dad and my step-mother, plus my mother.”

“Ah.” He hadn’t bought a home or put down proper roots, but he also couldn’t seem to leave his hometown. After splitting from Kyle, roots seemed unimportant.

“You seem comfortable here. I’ve heard stories about coming out in Cedarwood and it being dangerous,” Shaun said. “It doesn’t seem dangerous.”

“It used to be. People have sort of simmered down in the last couple years. The undercurrent of anger is still there, but it’s not at the forefront.” Kevin blotted his mouth with his napkin, then moved his cup to the side. “When I told my parents I was gay, my mom hugged me and my dad told me he knew all along. Neither got upset and they encouraged me to be myself. It was like a release when I admitted it—I wasn’t hiding and they weren’t trying to dance around it. At school, life wasn’t great. I was smart, different and the kids I graduated with didn’t understand how to act around someone who was gay.” He shrugged. “The town could be rough back then and there is always someone who wants to be an asshole, but it’s not as bad as it’s been.”

Kevin suppressed a shudder. He hated talking about that part of his past and disliked how the town wasn’t as quick to accept everyone as he would’ve preferred. Every so often, when he got low, he could still hear their voices in his ears, reminding him that being different wasn’t cool.

Shaun reached across the table and touched Kevin’s hand. “Are you okay?”

“Sometimes the negative moods hit and I get stuck remembering what I went through.” Kevin shrugged, but didn’t pull away from Shaun. The comfort in Shaun’s touch reassured him. “I wasn’t the target, but there was a group that would attack the gay community. Like actual attacks. Shit on cars, flaming shit…one guy was assaulted.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s more harmonious now, but you never know.”

“Nope.”

The volume of noise in the shop increased. Kevin balled his free hand on his lap. As much as he could stand the confusion and action in the stadium, he hated it in smaller spaces like the coffee shop. “It’s getting busy and Joe has music on Thursday nights. Sometimes the music is good and other times it’s not so much.”

“Yikes.” Shaun rubbed the top of Kevin’s hand with the pad of his thumb. “Why’d you and Kyle split? The cat?”

“Mostly. We were going down different paths and it just wasn’t working. Neither of us wanted to put in the effort.” No, he’d invested his time and Kyle didn’t care. “Kyle wanted everyone to look at him, and when they didn’t, he got angry.”

“That bothered you. Were you jealous?”

“God, no. I don’t care that he attracted attention, but I cared that he ignored me in favor of it.” He hated thinking about Kyle and had spent too much time discussing him. “I never mattered. If he could be in the spotlight, he did it.”

“I got that impression.” Shaun held Kevin’s hand. “His loss. You’re cute and I’ll bet you’re both loyal and sweet, too.”

“I can be.” The comment made him sound like he was a dog, but whatever. Shaun was easy to talk to and Kevin liked the way he held his hand.

“I’d like to see you again. I’m not much of a cook, but how about dinner Saturday? My place, say around six? I’ll make food and we can catch a movie.” Shaun’s eyes glittered.

“You want to with me?” Kevin blurted. He really needed to think before he spoke.

“Who else?”

Duh…him.“I—” When Kevin looked up, Kyle approached the table. “Fuck.”

“Oh, good. I fuck, too.” An odd smile crossed Shaun’s lips. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Pretty much.Kyle marched over to the table and sat beside Shaun. He draped his arm around Shaun’s shoulders. “So this is where you wanted to meet? Quaint.” He narrowed his eyes. “Kevin.”

Shaun tensed. “Kyle?”

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