Page 57 of Starting Over in Cedarwood

“I suppose you’re right, and it saves me from trying to figure out what to feed you—since I hadn’t thought this through very well.” He kissed Shaun. “I’m glad you’re here.” His boyfriend buoyed him.

“There we go. I’m glad to be here.” He headed into the apartment building with Kevin. “I’m beat.”

“I’ll bet, but I’m tired, too.”

Shaun led the way up the stairs. “They won, though. I saw the score. It was a tight game.”

Kevin unlocked the apartment door and as he stepped inside, he hooked his keys on the rack. Leo trotted up to him and he scooped the cat into his arms. “Hi, baby. I know I was gone all day.” He met Shaun’s gaze. “Sorry. This is our usual routine when I come home.”

“You won’t get an argument from me.” Shaun checked his phone, then closed the door. “The pizza is still baking. Why don’t you shower? It won’t be here for at least another twenty minutes.”

“I’d rather you come with me.” He still held the cat, but spoke to Shaun. “I doubt we’ll have enough time.” He plopped Leo onto his cat tree. “How about after?”

“Yes.” Shaun dropped his phone onto the sofa and crossed the room. He caught Kevin in his embrace and kissed him. The deep, passionate, consuming kiss warmed Kevin all over.

Kevin shoved his hand beneath Shaun’s shirt, needing to touch his lover’s skin. He craved this man.

Shaun broke the kiss first. “Needed that.”

“So did I.” He’d like more. “You don’t have to stop.”

“Let me tell you about my day first. I need to get this out.” Shaun let go and threaded his fingers together, propping his hands on the back of his head. “I met with Jonah.”

Kevin sat on the arm of the sofa. “You said you would.” When Leo hopped off the cat tree and joined him on the couch, Kevin cuddled the cat on his lap.

“I met with him and he gave me these.” Shaun withdrew an envelope. “Pictures. Some are of Mom, some of Dad, some of them together and mostly Jonah and me.”

I should’ve guessed.

“I didn’t want those, but he said I needed reminders of what I’ve been through. Jesus Christ. I’m over forty. I don’t need to look back,” Shaun said. “I’m in my prime.”

“You are.” He didn’t say more. This was Shaun’s time to vent.

Shaun faced him. “For a split second, I remembered why I thought I loved him. The old feelings rushed in and it was almost like old times, but then he said something that brought me right back to now. He asked me to hook up with him and I said no. I told him I was with someone and he replied that he’s with someone, too. He’s with someone and willing to ignore that person for a moment’s pleasure. I can’t do that. I won’t, and the idea that he could…it churned my stomach. Kev, he did that all along.”

Kevin continued to pet Leo. “I wouldn’t cheat on you, either.”

“I know.” Shaun paced the length of the room. “That moment encapsulated the relationship. He wanted me to go against my principles for him. Always for him.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No.” Shaun unwound his hands and cupped Kevin’s jaw. “When I look into your eyes, I see my future. I see us and Leo and even another cat or two in our own little house. I see us growing old together and that’s what I want. I wasn’t lying when I said I love you. I do.”

“I know, and I never doubted you.” He kissed the inside of Shaun’s wrist. “Not for a second.”

“You’re just freaked out. So am I. Between Kyle trying to use me to get a job, Jonah acting like he knows what’s best for me and the worry in your eyes when I told you I love you, it all nearly killed me.”

“I care about you, Shaun, but I’m scared. If I go too fast and tell you how I feel, I’m scared it’ll fall apart.”

“It won’t.” Shaun let go and knelt in front of him. “You’ve got me.”

“I do?”

“All of me. Do I have all of you?”

The couch vibrated, interrupting the moment. Kevin sighed. “I’m guessing that means the pizza is done and they’re downstairs.”

Shaun shrugged. “It happens.” He stood. “Are you happy it saved you from having to answer?”

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