Page 36 of The Perfect Play

“What’s wrong with you?” Derrick asked, clicking through the channels on the TV.

“Nothing,” I said, stomping up the stairs. I didn’t feel like rehashing it all with my brother. He’d just tell me I was an idiot for even thinking about a relationship with Jake. He’d seen everything I went through when Mom left, and there had been a number of times when he’d told me to just stay away from Jake.

Maybe he was right.

I slept fitfully that night and then woke up for my morning routine before school.

As the next week passed, I looked back at the past few weeks we’d been “dating,” and I realized Jake and I hadn’t gone anywhere together. Aside from practices and a few random shifts at the diner, that was the most we were together in public, and he usually waited to kiss me when we were in the privacy of our homes.

It had taken some effort, but I’d successfully avoided Nate for the whole week. I wasn’t quite ready to commit to going to prom with him, as my heart was still waiting for Jake to change his mind. I hadn’t seen Jake either, though, and even our text messages were short and to the point.

When I finally saw Jake in the hall, my heart rate sped up. Should I pretend not to see him? I felt like I needed some time to formulate my feelings into actual words.

“Hey, Pen,” he said, stopping a foot away from me. He stuffed his hands into his pants pockets, his head bowed a bit so it looked like his eyes were hooded.

“Jake.”

“I’m sorry about when you came over. I hate this distance between us, but there’s just a lot about dances that I can’t do.” He glanced down at his shoe as he moved it back and forth over the carpet.

“I know. You said it was because of the accident.” I kept my tone neutral, hoping he’d be able to share more of the details. I couldn’t understand if he didn’t explain it.

“I want to take you, but I just…I just can’t right now.” He glanced up as a few other students walked by and twisted so he was facing the set of lockers against the wall.

As much as I wanted to believe his words, it was his actions that seemed more telling than anything.

The bell rang, causing me to jump and return to the present. If he was going to act like he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public, then we might as well figure this out right now rather than keep wasting time.

“Well, do you still want to date? Or would it be better if we were just friends?” The words felt like rocks coming out of my mouth. I didn’t want to just be friends when I knew how much I liked him.

He shrugged and moved the toe of his sneakers across the floor. “It’s up to you. If you think a dance is a ‘make it or break it’ type of thing, maybe friends is the better option.”

His whole appearance was more nonchalant than I wanted it to be. Why was he all of a sudden putting up a wall?

“I’ve got to go. Let me think about it.” What else could I say? I wanted to scream and shout for him to stop turning back into the Jake that had inhabited his body ever since we were younger, the one that had disappeared for the last couple of months. But I couldn’t do that in the halls, and class might be the better option for me at this point.

I saw him at practice later, more focused than I’d seen him in a long time. He didn’t even look up at me as I walked past on my way back to the locker room. My performance at my own practice had been distracted, and Coach Ambrose had noticed.

“What’s up, girl? You look like you’re going to collapse under the weight of your bat bag.” I looked up to see Serena grinning at me.

“What are you doing still at school?” It was the best way to avoid spilling every emotion I’d been feeling all day.

Serena shook her head. “I forgot one of the books I need for an essay due tomorrow. I figured I’d come and get it so I didn’t end up failing the class. I’d hate to have to sit out the beginning of volleyball next year because I didn’t turn it in.”

I chuckled. Serena and I were almost polar opposite when it came to school work, but we both had the same fierce competitive spirit about our sport. “At least you thought that far ahead, right?”

“There’s a party tonight near my house. Wanna come?” Serena stepped off the sidewalk, turning to face me.

“I don’t know, Serena. I probably shouldn’t because of all the AP tests coming up.” Oddly, the tone of my voice didn’t sound entirely convinced, and my friend picked up on that.

“You’ll have the rest of the weekend to study. I might even come join you so I can pass these classes. Just come tonight, and then you can keep me on task for the rest of the weekend.”

For some reason, going to a party seemed like a good idea. The one time in my life that it actually did.

I held up my hands. “Yeah, I’ll go. It might be nice not to get distracted by my neighbor every five minutes.”

Serena glanced behind me in the direction of the ball fields. “Trouble in paradise for the baseball/softball couple?”

“It’s just the whole prom thing. He’s been acting off the past few days, and I’m not equipped to handle the up-and-down emotions. He’s turning back into Jerkface Jake, and I could use a little diversion tonight.”

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