Page 51 of The Perfect Hit

He nodded as if he’d just considered all my words, and I hoped that was a good thing. “I get that. I don’t think a full life is lived if we’re so stuck on one thing. Then again, I should take some of my own advice and do something other than baseball.”

We chuckled together for a few seconds.

“My biggest concern is that we have a game on Thursday, and that’s one of the nights of the performance.”

“Okay, so what’s your plan?”

I hesitated, waiting for him to elaborate. When he didn’t, I said, “What do you mean?” I guess I’d been expecting him to say yes or no and that I wouldn’t have to make a set decision.

“What’s your plan for that night? Are you playing baseball or acting in the play?”

I shrugged, not knowing what to do about it. “I guess I was hoping you’d tell me what to do.”

Coach Maddox took a few steps forward, clapping his hands onto my shoulders, and shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to do with your life, but I’m here to coach you through it. Not just in baseball, but the little life lessons as well.”

“The game is an hour away. Is it possible for me to play in the varsity game and then leave before junior varsity?” I calculated times, knowing it would still cut things close.

“That’s something you’ll need to ask your teammates. It’s all part of the journey, and I can’t decide for them either.”

I nodded, understanding what he meant. “Can I have a minute to talk to the team before we start practice?”

“Of course, Colt. I was skeptical about this at first, but from all the strength you’re showing, I think it’s a commendable thing to go after what you want.”

I didn’t feel strong at all right then. My knees threatened to buckle, and I was sure I would throw up before I got all the words out. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.”

Minutes ticked by, and I’d been ready with cleats on and glove in hand since our conversation ended. The team trickled in, and it was difficult to watch as my friends looked away from me. I hadn’t trusted them with the information, and I hated this feeling of distance between us.

Once they’d all dressed and gotten ready, Coach Maddox gathered the guys into a group on the grass.

“Before we get started with this practice, Buttars wanted to say something to everyone.” He turned to me and said, “Go ahead, Colt.”

I stood, feeling as though I’d just gone down the big section of a rollercoaster and was about to lose whatever was still left in my stomach from breakfast.

“Hey, guys. So, you might’ve heard that I auditioned for the play back at the beginning of the season.” My voice shook a bit, and I had to focus on the fence behind their heads, knowing that making eye contact with anyone right now would make it so I couldn’t continue. “I’m sorry I wasn’t upfront about it. To be honest, my family is against stuff like that, except my mom. I mean, not exactly against it, but it’s one of those things that doesn’t help build manly character, or so my dad says.”

I was rambling. I took a breath, trying to regroup my thoughts. “I hid it because I know what winning the state tournament would mean for all of us. I didn’t want you all to think I wasn’t focused on the goal. I am, but I also want to finish out this performance.”

A few of the guys shifted, staring at their cleats or the grass like I was making them uncomfortable. If they only knew that my limbs were pretty much frozen in place from the fear and anxiety that went into admitting all this.

“Our first play performance is tomorrow night, and I know we have a game and it’s an hour away. Coach Maddox wanted me to ask you all if it’s okay to leave after varsity and perform in that. It sounds crazy when I say it like that, as if you’re my parents,” I said, chuckling.

A bunch of the others followed suit, and I relaxed a fraction, a sliver of hope blooming that I might be able to get through this tough discussion. “Can I leave a bit early to make it back in time? Or do you want Adam to take my place?”

There was a long moment of silence before the guys started talking to their neighbors. I took a few steps back, not wanting to overhear anything that might make me feel worse about this.

The talking stopped, and Jake stood and walked over, hitting me on the back.

“The team has spoken. We appreciate the apology and the question. There’s no way we can make it to the state tourney without you, man. But we’re playing San Marcos tomorrow, and to be honest, you should just miss the game.”

I frowned. Was this a good thing or a bad thing? I was more confused than ever.

“We’re going to win tomorrow no matter what. And if you have a performance to get ready for, you might as well stay here so you’re not late.”

I glanced at him and tried to figure out if he was serious. “You mean miss the game entirely?”

Jake glanced to Coach Maddox for confirmation and then said, “Yeah. Do this. We have three other games before the playoffs begin. Be there for your cast and then refocus and be here for us when it’s over.”

I had to move my jaw a few times, kicking back the tears that threatened to surface. The fact that they could be so chill about this made me more relieved than I’d even imagined.

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