I swipe at a tear and replay those words again. “What do you mean ‘anymore’? Did you do something before?”
Hillary sits down, dropping her head to her hands. “I’m sorry, Rachelle. It might be better if you just go.”
I shake my head and walk over to sit next to her. Tiffany and Dani have moved over to the wall, trying to pretend they’re not here, but I’m grateful they are. Moral support and all.
“No, I want answers.”
Hillary gives me a pleading look, like she wants me to drop the questioning. But I can’t. I’m sick of people thinking I’m not strong enough to handle them.
“I told Landon he should break up with you.”
That is not the bombshell I was expecting.
“You did what? And Landon listened to you?” I’m struggling to keep my emotions in check so I’m not screaming next to her. Landon was surprised when I told him about Hillary’s almost wedding.
“Were you two a thing?” My mind hopes she denies it, because that would be the icing on the cake for me right now.
Hillary shakes her head. “No, absolutely not. Why would you think that?” She’s got her nose upturned as if that’s the worst idea in the world.
“Well, you told him to break up with me. I didn’t know if it was for your sake or not.”
Hillary shakes her head, looking sorry about something. “Rachelle, I told him that he needed to break up with you, to give you space because he was coddling you too much. He’d taken all the hard things away and you never learned how to cope without him. To be honest, he’s a good guy, but I didn’t want you to resent him later, like how Mom resents Dad.”
It’s like lightbulbs are flashing everywhere in my brain, highlighting memories that focus on the truth of her words.
My mom is a lot like me, although I’d like to think I’m less jaded than she is.
“So you told him that and he immediately believed you and broke it off?”
Hillary shakes her head. “No, I told him that back when you were cake testing at the lodge. He didn’t break up with you for another month.”
I frown, trying to breathe in as much air as possible. It’s like I’ve been repeatedly punched in the gut.
“So my sister and my fiancé worked together to break up the wedding? That’s just great.” I stand, ready to get out of this small space.
“Rachelle, I promise I did it because I care. Our family has a strange way of doing things, but I only wanted you to be happy.”
I lift my hands out to the side and realize they’re shaking. “You only wanted me to be happy? You couldn’t have told me all this for the six months I couldn’t get out of bed without effort? It was torture helping you with wedding details and then you just leave. I don’t know what to say, Hillary. Why couldn’t you have come to me, told me this yourself instead of telling Landon?”
“I didn’t think you’d listen to me.” Her words are soft, and I see the genuineness in her eyes.
She’s probably right. I doubt I’d have listened at the time.
“Is your life really so bad now?” Hillary asks. “I mean, you’re here, on a cruise. You’ve got friends to support you,” she says, pointing to Tiffany and Dani. “And you look amazing, like you’ve figured a few things out along the way.”
I nod, sinking back down into the chair next to her. With an arm around her shoulders, I let out a long breath. We sit like that for several minutes, my brain processing everything she’s explained.
“To be honest, it probably wasn’t the best way to do it, but I’m glad you did. I’ve been able to do things I never thought I would, and on my own. I don’t need to be single forever. Landon and I are on the same cruise and we’ve been working on things. I still love him, but it’s been good to have the time to grow as ourselves. But now, knowing all this, I don’t know if that trust can be regained.”
Hillary shakes her head. “Rachelle, did you go on this cruise together?”
“No.”
“And you’ve talked? Kissed even?” She raises an eyebrow and waits.
“Everything but the full truth about our breakup. At least I know that now.” I swallow, trying to piece together everything I’ve learned before with my sister’s revelations.“And we’ve kissed.”
Hillary reaches over and squeezes my hand with hers. “If he didn’t throw me under the bus as the culprit, I’d say he’s still the man you’ve always loved. When I first talked to him, he didn’t believe me and was worried about what would happen to you if you broke up. I doubt he’s changed so much in the past year that you won’t trust him again.”