Page 10 of Matched with Her Fake Fiance

Guy: What’s your favorite thing to do?

Me: Read the profile, man. I didn’t make it through that list of a billion questions for nothing.

I chuckle to myself, which draws Kenzie’s attention.

“What are you smirking at over there? Are you going to accept or reject Evie’s choice of a dog lover movie?”

With a quick glance, a picture of a boy and a dog are on the screen. “As much as I love dogs, I vote nay.”

“Okay then, choice number two is Harry Potter.”

The vote is unanimous and the girls settle in. I adjust in the small armchair and wait for a response as the little conversation bubble pops up in the message screen.

Guy: Touché. A woman who doesn’t like to waste time. I like it.

Me: If that’s supposed to be an innuendo, I’m out like trout.

Guy: No, no, no.

There’s a pause, and I see the bubble pop up and disappear a few times before the message comes through.

Guy: Sorry, this is my first time on one of these things and I’m still new. I’ll know better to think through every answer at least ten ways before pressing send from now on.

Me: You’ve learned well, Young Padawan.

Yes, I’m terrible, but like they say, talking online makes a person braver.

Guy: Okay, Star Trek reference. Good to know. Have you ever been to a Red Sox game?

I shake my head, laughing at the mix-up for the Star Wars reference.

Me: Do you mean have I ever lived since I’ve grown up in Boston? Yes, yes I have. I haven’t sat as closely as I would like, but the outfield is still a great place to catch a ball.

Guy: Who’s the one with the innuendo now?

And now I’m done. I tuck my phone away and try to focus on the fact that my roommates have turned on the movie with Dolores Umbridge in it. The lady drives me bonkers.

My phone buzzes against my backside and I pull it out, seeing several more messages from the mystery man.

Guy: Don’t go. I’m sorry about that.

Guy: I don’t usually talk like this.

Guy: Would you like to go out this weekend?

I frown, not sure what was wrong with the guy on the other end. At least I hope he’s my age and not someone four decades older.

I’ll have to ask Tiffany about that. Not that I plan on using this all the time.

Me: I’m not sure that would be a good idea. I’m not feeling a connection here.

I don’t have to wait long for an answer.

Guy: I’ve totally felt one and we’ve been ma—

Seconds tick by and I’m watching the screen out of curiosity.

Guy: I sincerely apologize for the above conversations. My friend decided to take things into his own hands about my dating life.

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