“I’m not leaving you. I’m right here. Maybe we should pause on this for today. Why don’t we go get some food?” The terror in his eyes reminds me of throwing away the comics and I know we need to take this slower.

He stares at me for several seconds and nods. “I can do that.”

Blowing out a breath, I try to smile as wide as I can. There is so much to unpack from what happened today and I have to let go of the idea that I’m not going to get anything done. But the issues that caused the mess in the first place need to be eased into and dissected. It would be painful if we cleaned everything up to only have it happen again.

“How was your day today?” I ask as we get into my car. I use my middle finger to flick the glass near the gas gauge, hoping it will magically go up about two notches.

“It was really good. We sold a bunch of the equipment we unpacked, which is always a bonus.” It’s amazing how much the rink and hockey helps my father’s mental state. We aren’t near his work, but he looks ten years younger and ready to head into the arena as if nothing is wrong with his living situation. “How was the mud run?”

That’s a loaded question.

“It was an adventure. Dani ended up inviting her husband’s group of friends. Trey Hatch got a concussion and I had to drive him home.” Crap, I shouldn’t have mentioned Trey.

“You were Trey’s driver, huh? What did you think about that?”

I shake my head, not wanting him to tease me about this. “I was just trying to keep the guy coherent, Dad. And I have no flirting skills, so there isn’t anything juicy to report.”

The car jerks and then stops in the middle of the road.

“What’s wrong?” Dad asks, leaning over to check the dashboard.

“Great question.” I slide down into my seat as I say, “We just ran out of gas.”

Dad rolls his eyes and says, “Kenzie, you’re supposed to tell me when you’re in dire straits. I may not have a handle on my living situation, but I have enough money to help you out when you’re in need.”

“Dad, I’m in dire straits.” I try to keep my face neutral but a smile creeps in and we both laugh.

“Okay, let’s get your car pulled over to the side of the road and then we’ll figure out what to do about gas.”

There’s a gas station about a mile away and we talk on the way there and back, mostly about what’s been happening in the hockey world. He’s always seeing faces from the past at the rink.

Once we’re back at my car, Dad reaches out and hands me a few twenty-dollar bills. “Here’s this. Make sure you talk to me next time.”

“I don’t want to be a burden. I’m old enough to have my life figured out, I’m just not there yet.” This is not how today was supposed to go. I should be cleaning up my dad’s house, not taking his money.

“I know you think that just because you’re out of college and living on your own that you’re supposed to have it all figured out. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes it takes us longer than others to figure out what direction our lives should take. You need a better plan to try out for your business.”

Seconds ticked by and I said, “I figure I need to get the minor stuff down first and then go on with it. Website, actual jobs that I’ve done to help others, etc. I’ll still have to find another job to support me while I’m working on it, but I feel like I’ve gone through all the options, Dad.”

“A job can be a job for a while. You don’t have to quit because of something you didn’t like about it. And if it’s helping you get to your goals, you’re tough enough to stick it out a bit longer, right? Remember Coach Weeks? You struggled to get through that first season of college because of her. But you pushed through and were even better that next season. Treat your jobs like that, if the organizing thing is really what you want to do.”

Emotions pull at me and I smile, trying to tamp down the wall of tears threatening to spill out. “Thanks. I’ll find something, Dad.” I pause for a moment as he gets back into the car. “We can both give ourselves some grace, don’t you think?”

He’s quiet for a minute and then nods. “Yeah, I think we both need to understand our fears and go from there.”

“And what are your fears?”

There’s another long pause before he says, “Being completely alone.”

My heart breaks a little at his words. “That’s a tough one. Do you think that’s why you buy so much stuff?”

Dad nods. “Yeah, kind of like it’s filling a hole.”

I reach over and pat his hand. “Well, that’s a start. It’s something we can work with and fix.”

“And your fears are something you can fix too. It’s just a matter of uncovering what you don’t want anyone to see and working on it.”

“We’ll have to do it together then. Chances are high I won’t unless I have you pushing me about it.” I grin at him and feel a bit easier after talking to Dad.