Page 12 of Love on the Sidelines

Mom raises her eyebrow and says, "Really? I'm your mother and I know just about every emotion you're feeling. I can read you like a book."

"So original, Mom," I say, shaking my head.

"Well, you're thirty-one and still acting like a teenager for some things. I might as well add that in."

"Why didn't you ever remarry after Dad died?" It was a question I’d been thinking about for years. Maybe it would be the ticket to reroute this conversation.

"There are some things you can't ever get over. I didn't want to have a replacement for your father. And I figured it would just ruin my relationship with you and Sonja if I started dating someone else."

"Yeah, Sonja was such a pain," I say, rolling my eyes in exaggeration.

"You were the one I always had to chase around the house to get you to listen. You've never been good at sitting still for too long."

Which is exactly why I don't want to settle down with anyone. Loyalty is a Danielson trait, and to change my mind about something as big as marriage isn't something I think I can do. But with my work taking me all across the world, how could I ask someone to commit to that?

"You're exceptional, Charlie. Just don't work yourself so long that you forget what life is all about."

"I won't," I say. I doubt I can actually claim that, though. Work is a challenge, something I crave to solve or invent, invest or change. Relationships aren't built on one problem but many, and often they aren't fixed even after hours and months of working on the problem.

"Even if you're not into dating, you should call up some of your friends to go on vacation. You know, like when you turn your phone off and try to enjoy life around you?"

Leave it to Mom to put me in my place.

"That might be a good idea. I'll wait until you're back on your feet and Emily's tournaments are done before I prepare for that."

"It's all a mom can ask for," she says, giving me a tired smile.

"I'll let you rest, Mom. I need to make sure I feed your granddaughter before she dies of starvation."

That gets my mom laughing. Emily is a pretty great kid, but she can go from zero to hangry in three minutes flat.

"Sounds good, Charlie. I'll see you soon."

I leave my mom's room and walk past Ava's grandma's room, causing me to think of her again.

From the way Ava avoids me, it looks like I'm very out of practice for talking to women when it doesn't involve some sort of business strategy. I'll have to work on that so my mom won't constantly ask me if I'm working toward living life.

Communication is key. But will I survive these trips when I have a lot going on at work?

7

AVA

I'm convinced that butterflies will never actually go away for me. Not the good kind where someone falls in love with someone else, but the kind that means my nervous system is working overtime because I’m worried about what’s to come.

The tournament this weekend is kind of like a warm-up for the summer. Instead of flying back east like we’ll have to do for the rest of the tournaments, this one is in Salt Lake. I'm not even playing in this game and I'm feeling the effects of the old adrenaline I'm used to. If only my body had avoided injuries time and time again, life might look different right now.

Then again, I don't know who would take care of Gran now that Gramps is gone. She's a feisty lady, but she still needs that love and someone to check in on her.

"Okay, ladies," I say to the group right before we're to take the field. This tournament is only an hour from where we live, which means competition isn’t as fierce as it will be. But I'm just as nervous for the girls as I will be before the start of every tournament. They've all been working so hard. I hope they'll be able to play well, especially during the tournaments where there are a lot of college coaches watching the games.

"Are we ready for today?"

"Yeah!" they shout as a group.

"Go out there and work your tails off. Pass and move up the field quickly. If you're tired, get off and we'll get someone in for you. We don't want to run out of gas when we’ve got the ball."

We put our hands in for a cheer, and I wait as they run out and take their places.

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