Page 57 of 7 Dirty Lies

“It was one of those stupid arrangements.Her father and my father were business partners.We were the same age.We grew up together.She was young, rich and beautiful.I wassupposedto marry her.I proposed our junior year of college and we were engaged for twoyears.”

Engaged.Why was that stupid word stuck on repeat inside my head?“Whathappened?”

“I found out she only accepted because she thought the ranch was doing well enough to keep her rich and happy.All she wanted was a comfortable position.She didn’t love me and honestly?I didn’t love her.I proposed because after my father died I was on autopilot, doing what I was supposed to do, afraid if I started changing things, I’d start tolosehim.”

I wasn’t really conscious of what I was doing—my body seemed to know what my mind didn’t.I wanted to touch him so that’s what I did.I stood up and crossed the loft so that I could hold his hand.“You loved your fatherverymuch.”

“To my own detriment, according to Christina.”He pulled our clasped hands to his mouth and brushed his lips over my knuckles.The action was a simple one, but to me it said a thousand things at once.Colt was an emotional man with a kindness to him that was rare in the men I knew, but he was also commanding and unmistakably masculine.That duality was the sexiest thing about him.“Turns out she’d been sleeping with my roommate the whole time.And to add insult to injury, when we ended the engagement, her father ended our distribution agreement.It was a pretty shit time allaround.”

Love and business—both gone with a single action.“No wonder you’re skittish aboutrelationships.”

He grimaced, leaning down until our foreheads touched.He took a long deep breath.“That did a number on me.You’re right.I made bad decisions and those decisions still haunt me.Especially the ones that came next.”His hands slid back to my hair, tilting my face up to his.“I decided I wouldn’t do relationships until I got the ranch where I wanted it.And that made sense to me.How could I possibly be any good to a woman when my heart and attention were already completely consumed bymywork?”

“Why do I get the feeling you haven’t been honing your impressive bedroom moves alone with your hand at night?”There was no way Colt just magically knew his way around my body.I understood he’d probably had a string of lovers that taught him what he knew but that didn’t mean I liked thinkingaboutit.

“My sister calls them my ‘arrangements’.In the rumors that float around they call them my ‘mysterious mistresses.’”His voice was low, even.“But they aren’t mistresses at all.Mysterious, yes.We both agree that our relationship is purely sexual and no one else’s business.But it’s completely mutual and they’re using me for the exact same reasons I use them.I would never call themmistresses.”

It was socold.So unlike the warm, passionate man I knew Colt to be.Which meant he’d done this because it was convenientandbecause it kept his emotions out of the equation entirely.The man with the mysterious mistresses was the very definition of detached and unemotional.He buried himself under layers upon layers of protection and made sure his emotions were never involved in anything except his family—who he clearly adored and would protect with his very lastbreath.

That’s when I realized, really realized, why Colt was so driven.It wasn’t just for himself or his legacy.It wasn’t even for his father’s memory.It was for Christina and Jonas.He loved them and needed to be sure he could protect them nomatterwhat.

“Untilme?”

He nodded quickly, the nervous energy practically leaping off of him.“Until you.I’ve never done this before, Lily.I’ve never combined sex and feelings.I don’t know how to do this and I’m completely out of mydepth.”

I hated how tortured he seemed but I loved that I made him feel so much.“I haven’t either.We’re cluelesstogether.”

“Was that supposed to make me feelbetter?”

“No,” I said so my breath whispered across his neck as I slid my arms around his shoulders.“I’m supposed to do that.”He quivered in my arms as I nipped and kissed at all his sensitive spots.“What were these arrangements like?How would youfindthem?”

I tugged on his earlobe with my teeth and he hissed, his hands gripping my hips as he held on for dear life.“I’m not the only stressed out person with a high profile.I found someone in a similar position who didn’t want to deal with having a boyfriend.We reached an agreement that suited both of us.No complications.Just much needed stressrelief.”

“In the bedroom.”I didn’t want details so I really wasn’t sure why I was stilltalking.

“Usually a hotel room, actually.We met up on businesstrips.”

Even better.I liked to think that I was the only woman who graced Colt’s bed.“And you had several of these...arrangements?”I began removing his clothes, exploring new ways to make him moan.I wasn’t entirely sure what had come over me, other than an intense urge to brand Colt and erase these other women from his mind with mytongue.

“A few over the years.Things like that don’t last forever.”His hips jerked against me, looking forfriction.

“And what would you have asked me for if we were going to have anarrangement?”

“I could never have an arrangement with you,” he growled.“I think I was trying to.”He meant that first week of sex in his room.“You can see how thatended.”

In an explosion of emotions and needs.There was no mistaking that now.Colt needed me every bit as much as I needed him.These feelings were real and deep—far deeper than either of us could comprehend—and they were drowning us as long as we keptfightingthem.

His hand coasted over my breast as he leaned back to look me in the eyes.His had grown dark and hungry, his pupils wide.“You should know that it wasn’t always simple.I miscalculated once.The woman I was with, she sought me out specifically when she heard about me.She used our relationship to feed details about the ranch to one of our competitors.I’m only telling you this because it’s a sore spot with my family.If it ever comes up I wanted you to hear it from me,notthem.”

I kissed him, catching him totally off guard.“Thankyou.”

“That was not the reaction I expected.”He kissedmeback.

I knew it was weird to be talking about our pasts and the last thing I wanted to dwell on was the other women who’d had what I was quickly beginning to think of as mine, but his confessions were exactly what made him so special to me.“In my family, those secrets are weapons, Colt.”I stripped off my dress.“Sothankyou.”

Understanding dawned on his face and his eyes darkened.“That’s enough talking for now.”He picked me up and set me on the couch.“Fuck, Lily.Do you have any idea what you do to me when you look at melikethat?”

I had no idea what expression was on my face.I was too caught up in themoment.“No.”

---