Page 1 of Reckless Love

Chapter 1

Esme

Nine months earlier ...

Iwas nervous. So fucking nervous. I hadn’t been set up in ages. Ages upon ages. I’d gone on a “sex fast” two years, four months, and seventeen days ago. Yep, I was counting. I used to knowthe hours and minutes as well. I was a very sexual person and to go from having all kinds of sex on the regular to nothing was a shock to my system.

But it was a needed shock.

I’d known for a long time that I used sex to avoid my problems, used my lovers to pretend the world didn’t exist, but at some point I’d become addicted to it. Couldn’t function without it. That was when I knewI needed to make a drastic change.

Cold turkey seemed to be the only solution.

But my father was back and if I didn’t find a way to make my hands stop shaking I was probably going to make some other really bad decisions. Alcohol and drugs were not good solutions to dealing with problems. I was discussing my need for a nice night out—justone—when a friend of mine mentioned he knewthe perfect guy.

I was looking at that guy now through the front windows of a restaurant. Leo Hancock. My friend swore up and down Leo was a really wonderful guy who would take care of me and leave it at that. No strings, no complications, no judgment.

I hated judgment.

Why couldn’t a girl want a night of good sex without it coming with questions and assumptions of character?I liked orgasms. I liked human contact. Sue me. I just needed one night to get the shakes to stop so I could get back to dealing with all my problems.

But as I stood there staring at this man I got a very strange feeling in my gut. The kind that said tonight was going to be different. He sat at the bar smiling and joking with the bartender while sipping what looked like a bourbon. Besidehim sat the book he told me he’d have so I could identify him. I knew this was Leo, but damn, did he have to be so good looking?

I didn’t have a type. Not really. I guess my type was commanding and good at fucking. I liked them tall, short, fit, overweight, blond, brunette, serious, or sweet. All that really mattered to me was that we were compatible in the sack. A good lay was a good lay.

Leo looked like a hell of a lot more than a good lay. He looked dangerous to my sanity. He was the kind of guy I could get addicted to. Tall, fit, dark hair perfectly styled, a suit obviously tailored just for him, excellent shoes (yes I could see the black leather from outside), and an easy-going smile that made me wet.

If he was half as nice as he seemed from out here I’d be donefor. I thought about walking away but every step I took hurt. I needed this. Where else could I get relief from someone I could trust? Nowhere. I’d completely severed my past. There was no going back to where I once was. I couldn’t ask anyone I worked with. I wasn’t dating. That left paying for it or trusting this recommendation.

Or, I supposed, staying celibate.

I closed my eyesand pictured going home alone, crawling into bed, and trying to sleep. My skin instantly began itching. I hadn’t had a good night of sleep since Edmund announced he purchased the Renegades.

No, it was meet Leo Hancock or lose my damn mind.

So inside I went.

Getting closer was a mistake if I wanted to be able to leave. Every step seemed to magnify the sensations I felt. Itwas as if there were a sexual vibration to the air and Leo’s melody matched my lyrics.

All throughout dinner we avoided topics of real substance. We didn’t discuss childhoods or jobs. We stuck to hobbies, food, and the important details of our upcoming night. I was on birth control, he would wear a condom at all times, I would leave by morning and he would never contact me again.

And all the while my body came back to life. Perhaps celibacy was a bad decision after all. Sure it had forced me to deal with my life and focus on my work, but now I was verging on losing all my control. I was starved and this man—this kind, intelligent stranger—was about to be mine.

I swallowed hard because my mouth kept watering. I wanted to know how he tasted. I bet his skin was salty.I wanted his mouth on me. It was full and the way he smiled made me think he knew what to do with those lips.

I was so damn horny I was pretty sure a touch would be all I needed to dive right over the edge like I was a sixteen year old boy losing his virginity.

Celibacy was definitely a bad choice.

I crossed my legs. “I’m ready whenever you are.” My sex throbbed against thepressure.Fuck.I was so completely screwed. I wouldn’t want one orgasm; I’d want three or four.At least.I knew how I was.

Of coursewasshould be the operative word. But it wasn’t as if I had fundamentally changed. From the moment I experienced my first orgasm I’d been this way. Always craving the next one and the next one. Searching for...something. Seeking that high.

Maybethat was the problem in the end. I never knew what it was I needed, only that I hadn’t found it yet.

Leo waved for the check. He was like magic. The waiter appeared and in moments our bill was paid and I was being escorted down the street. He kept his hand on my lower back and while he walked closely beside me he wasn’t overbearing. It was protective.

“I just live a couple of blocksaway. I thought we could walk?”

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