Page 43 of Go Away, Darling

“You better believe it. I miss you like crazy. I’m so overwhelmed with everything. I just want to sit on my boat alone for like, three days straight.”

My mind immediately flashed back to grumpy half-drunk Chris. “Do you want company?”

I could feel his smile through the phone line. “Only if it’s you.”

“I’m sopleased to meet you, Carmen,” I gushed. It wasn’t often I was so starstruck I could barely speak, but taking a video call with Carmen Ayres—the writer, director, and producer of my all time favorite documentary—was definitely cause for complete meltdown.

“The pleasure is mine. Your work at the World Series caught my eye and then I realized I’ve admired your work in the past. I’m glad to see something new from you again. It’s been a while.”

Oh. My. GAWD.I went thermonuclear from the praise and embarrassment.Carmen Ayres admires my work!“That’s an incredible compliment. Thank you.”

“Your Everglades project definitely hit my radar a few years ago, but it was your series on the 2010 oil spill that really put you on my watch list. The way you captured the people fighting to save the environment really spoke to me.”

I was...I was speechless. I was on Carmen Ayres radar all those years ago? So much so that she remembered me now? How was this possible?

“So here’s the reason I requested to speak with you. I’m about to launch a new project. A documentary on how baseball has shaped culture in America, and how culture in America has shaped the sport. I want you on my team.”

I die. I’m fairly certain that’s what this was. My heart had stopped, my brain synapses no longer fired, there was no air in my lungs. “Me? In what capacity?”Sound professional!It was a miracle I hadn’t burst into tears!

“Have you seen my work before?”

Had I seen her work?Had I seen her work?

“The History of Historychanged my life. It completely altered the way I see my role as photographer and encouraged me to help launch the Calusa Key history project.”

Carmen smiled warmly. “Now that is truly a compliment. So you’re familiar with how I mix interviews with video and photographs?”

“Yes, of course.”

“I don’t have a photographer yet. No one has clicked. I need someone who can see the person inside and manages to bring it out. I don’t think anyone I’ve worked with in the past can do what you did with the Mantas. I need a combination of raw talent and a deep understanding of the sport. That’s what I see in your work.”

How many times could someone die in a conversation? I was now at three. I hoped I lived through it so I could take this project. “Again, thank you so much, Carmen. Your praise means everything to me.”

“So you’ll consider it?”

“Absolutely. What will the schedule look like?”

“I’ll warn you first. It’s intense. I have twenty-five interviews set up over the next four months, plus about a dozen locations to shoot. If things go as planned this will take up a better part of your next six months.”

I knew I should think about how I was going to be there for Lincanddo this much traveling, but all my brain could process was that this was a chance of a lifetime. In the back of my mind I could hear a miniature version of myself chanting “hypocrite” over and over. I shushed her with the reminder this was a one-time project, not a lifestyle.

“Can you send me the agenda?”

“I’ll send you all the details and a contract to your agent. I’m really looking forward to getting to know you better, Olivia.”

I stared at the computer for a long time after the call ended. I was still sitting there when Carmen’s email pinged into my inbox with all the information I’d need to make a formal decision and start planning a very different life for the next few months. A quick scan of the agenda calmed my nerves. Yes, I’d be gone a lot, but it was all manageable. Summer was taking a break from touring to record her next album, so she’d be able to cover most of this.

Chris would probably happily help, too.The thought popped into my head and while I knew it was true it also reminded me of how I was asking him to prove he would be around all while I was about to spend time away.

And of course Beau would be available as well once football season was over, but picturing him trying to be happy here even for an occasional week made me cringe.

But then I thought about how alive I felt these last few weeks. I was off the shelf, the dust cleared away. I followed my creativity and my heart. I couldn’t put myself back into cold storage because I was afraid of a few complications.

Right?

This project was the opportunity of a lifetime. It was the kind of platform that could open doors for me I didn’t even know existed. But it would also take me away from Chris just when we finally had a chance to spend real time together.

I closed the agenda and paced around my office, trying to clear my mind of possibilities and doubts. And when I couldn’t think straight, I called my little sister.

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