Page 46 of Go Away, Darling

Luckily I survived that day. It wasn’t amazing, but it was a solid first showing. They decided to keep me up and I focused everything in my life on making my debut stick, proving to everyone I was an elite professional pitcher. I didn’t date. At all. I didn’t even look at women for the rest of the season. I worked out every spare minute and followed my trainer's advice to the letter. I didn’t go out with the guys except to dinner. I stopped drinking. Not even a celebratory beer.

I dedicated my life to making my big chance as big as it could possibly be.

I spent a lot of time over the last week thinking about what happened between Liv and me, and where I wanted things to go from here. I already felt like I knew, but now I was confident. I tucked her long hair behind her ear and cupped her chin so she looked into my eyes. “I think we should keep things slow and friendly until this all settles down. You need to focus and things will be complicated enough without adding a new relationship to your plate.”

Her eyes darted between mine, searching. Then her lips trembled and I almost took everything back. “I think you might be right.”

“I don’t want to back off, just so you know.”

She nodded silently. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

I heard the echo of my own words from the week before, so I knew how genuinely she meant it. “Then I’ll stay.” There was a finality to our kisses that I didn’t like but I ignored it and instead focused on the intensity.

The zings turned to a five alarm fire when she climbed into my lap and took my face in her hands. “I’m not good at relationships. I’m pretty terrible, actually. But I’m trying to figure it all out for you.” Her eyes darted between mine and I found it really damn hard to breathe with that much desire directed at me.

So I put my hands on her hips and pulled her down against me, giving me something to feel to balance out everything else. “I’m just a boy, sitting under a girl, telling her I’ll be here when she’s ready.”

She smiled and ground against me. “I’m ready to have some fun, Hugh Grant.”

I smiled right back. “Then that’s what we’ll start with.”

And I meant it. If we had fun tonight and she didn’t touch me again for a few months, I would live with it. If she wanted to sneak away and relieve stress with me, I’d be okay with that too. Hell, if she changed her mind and wanted to have a full blown secret relationship, I’d figure that out.

She fumbled with my shirt. The moment her hands touched my chest I hissed. It was incredible how something so simple—her hand on my skin—could change everything. My mind switched off. I stopped thinking about the future and all the different possibilities.

“Liv, we need a bed,” I groaned. As hot as the idea of chair sex was, I needed to move, to touch every inch of her, and, quite frankly, to be in control.

She nodded as she kissed my neck. I took that as permission and stood up with her in my arms. Her legs automatically wrapped around my waist as I walked us to her room. Last week I was a ball of adrenaline and need.

Tonight I was a man with only one night.

And I was going to make the most of it.

I set her gently on the bed and removed her clothes one piece at a time. Her eyes remained locked on me, watching my every move. I never thought of myself as a controlling kind of guy. In fact, I was usually pretty go with the flow. Whatever felt good or right in the moment. But with Liv, I was beginning to realize, I felt a powerful need to please and pleasure, and I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t in control.

Like when I was pitching. On the mound I was in control, the game designer, the master of puppets. I loved knowing the game was mine to win or lose. Those games mattered to me.

Olivia mattered to me.

I ripped off my own clothes and condomed up, then took her slowly so I could savor and memorize how it felt to be with her. It was all eyes and hot breath as I filled her. I felt every inch, every quiver, the build, the tension, the need.

I loved her legs around my hips, her ankles at my back, her breasts in my hands or against my chest as we kissed. I held her hips in place as I drove into her over and over again.

“Chris! There. Please?”

Her words drove me wild. I wanted to hear them for the rest of my life. “I can feel it. You’re close, babe.”

“Yes.” She nodded furiously, eyes screwed shut as she arched up to me, meeting my thrusts.

“Eyes, Liv.”

She forced them open. They were unfocused and wild. The connection from our eyes to our bodies complete. “Yes,” she whispered, her hand coming to my face and stroking my cheek.

I drove into her again, deep and powerful. Her eyes rolled back as her orgasm took hold, but she blinked, refocusing on me, and all the pleasure I saw, mixed with her naked adoration, pitched me over the edge with her.

We slept backto back all night long. I made her breakfast and we wound up using the kitchen counter for another round of fast, intense love making. Then Beau texted to let her know they were on the way.

“I have nothing better to do until February. I’m here to help whether it’s picking Linc up from school or taking you out fishing to get away from everything.” I kissed her one last deep time, knowing it might be weeks or even months before we could really move forward. “I’m going to be the best next door neighbor you’ve ever met and Linc is going to get so used to having me in his life he won’t ever worry about me leaving you—or him—lonely.”

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