Page 65 of Tempt

“Fuck that. Just…Fuck. That. You Sutherlands’ have a gift for existential garbage. This isn’t some poetic justice from the universe that we are all destined to pay as tribute. Pull your head out of your ass and get rid of this bastard—because that’s all this is. We end this and we move on once and for all. I am not living like this any longer, Theo. You hear me?”

Theo’s eyes flicked up to meet Higgins. He gave a quick nod. “I hear you, brother. I’m with you.”

And while I could see the determination rolling off Theo, I could also see the doubt tattooed on the back of his eyes. I stood up and held out my hand. “Come on. Take me to bed. Let’s work this out the old fashioned way.” Then I looked back over my shoulder at Higgins. “You may want to plug your ears for an hour.”

Chapter 23

There was one surefire way I knew to simplify the complicated—one way to erase the noise and bring the important things into focus—closing the door, taking off my clothes, and turning up the music.

Skin was distracting, but so was the way it made me feel when it was touched by Theo’s skin. I knew the feeling had to be mutual. And if it did that to me, then it had to be as comforting to him.

He didn’t say anything and he didn’t really move. He mostly sat and watched me, almost as if he were trying to find his place in the world. He seemed stuck between two worlds. The hopeful half was determined to move beyond the past once and for all. The doubtful half saw the impossibility of it. I wondered how much of his confusion came from trying to maintain the balance.

I’d seen a side of Theo this weekend…the man he might have been if he hadn’t gone off to Scotland with a criminal. He’d been drawn into that world against his will and wound up trapped. The land he showed me, and his hopes for the future—he didn’t want his past tainting any of that. The harder he tried to keep those two lives separate, the more he refused to acknowledge his past, the more conflicted he looked.

So instead, I had him focus on me. I sat in front of him on the bed while I worked to undress him. Taking off Theo’s clothes was a favorite ritual of mine. There was something about removing the layers and finding my prize hidden inside…yeah, I liked that.

“Touch me,” I said softly.

He held my gaze for a long second before he ran his large hands down my arms. It wasn’t exactly the most intimate thing he’d ever done, so I scooted a little closer, resting my knee on top of his. I traced a pattern over his tattoo, over his ribs, and around his belly button.

“I don’t know if I’m the best company right now.”

I was losing him to his thoughts. It was happening so fast it scared me. So I did what any sane woman would do. I grabbed his hands and put them on my breasts. “For the next twenty minutes I need your full attention.” He stared at my breasts. Well, to be more specific, he stared atmyhands holdinghishands on my breasts. “There’s no past, there’s no future to worry about. No one else but you and me.”

“And your beautiful breasts.”

“You know they’re attached to me, right?”

He grinned and I knew I had him back. “Oh trust me, I’m well aware.” I was also happy to note that there was a considerable bulge growing inside his pants. “I’m going to be fine.” I let go of his hands and he slid them up into my hair, pulling me in for a kiss. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

I kissed him back, holding his face in my hands so that I could kiss him as roughly as I wanted to. “You don’t understand how this love thing works, do you? You don’t get a say in how or when I worry.”

He stared at me, this ball of tension and energy growing almost as fast as his erection. I knew saying I loved him was quick and scary, and I knew it might be a long, long time before I ever heard it back, but I didn’t regret saying it for a second. It was how I felt and having it out there was really freeing. I think Theo needed to know that this was real. Our relationship wasn’t a figment of his imagination and I wasn’t playing games. Living your life alone is different than living it for someone else. This wasn’t just his fight, it was mine, too.

“Don’t worry too much. I’ve got this. I promise.” Then he pulled me on top of him as he lay back on the bed, his hands still in my hair. I straddled him, feeling my body come to life as it melded with his. I rested my hands on his chest, taking in his gorgeous body. Then his hand tightened in my hair, guiding me in for a deep, needy kiss.

I enjoyed this mixed balance of power. I was on top, but Theo was the one radiating commands with the intensity of his kisses and the gentle tugs on my hair. His hips rocked up and mine pressed down—his pants were the only thing separating us. I reached down and freed his cock, positioning it at my entrance as we continued to touch and play, letting us each warm up for the exercise that was coming.

Our holiday had ended in disaster. At least we could salvage the last few moments of the weekend by connecting inside and out.

I slowly took him in. Inch by inch. Growing wetter and expanding around him. He held tight, but let me have complete control over how fast and deep I took him. His eyes stayed locked onto mine almost as if he were afraid to look away. As if he needed the intimacy that came from watching what happened as we became one.

He was the very picture of arm porn. The way he was holding me—with his arms flexed to grip my hair—it made every muscle from his neck to his hands ripple with tension.

It was so hot that I couldn’t stop staring once we really got moving. Theo arched back, groaning as I speared myself on his cock over and over. His fingers tightened in my hair, sending shocks of pleasure-pain down from my scalp to my toes. It heightened everything I was already feeling.

He moved with me. Meeting me thrust for thrust. Sucking lightly along my shoulder and tugging at my ear. I felt the movement of his tongue mimicked inside me, caressing my clit and my core, urging my pleasure higher.

My legs started to shake as everything seemed to focus down to one spot. All feeling, all sounds and movements, were concentrated inside me where Theo’s cock stroked over and over. He pulled on my hair, the sudden jolt stinging my eyes and causing my muscles to contract all at once, jumpstarting my orgasm. He watched me come. Tenderly and with wild fascination, just like he always did. I could barely keep my eyes open as I rode the waves…until I felt Theo’s hips jerk. He was close and just like him, I didn’t like to miss the show.

It was hard to see him through the fog in my head, but what I saw was a beautiful sight. The strain and the ecstasy were written all over his face. His jaw locked into place, his eyes closed, and he thrust hard. Once, twice, and then held me close.

That last look of undisguised pleasure was what I looked forward to every time. I was glad I didn’t miss it. I was going to need memories like this to get me through what was ahead.

* * *

I foundTheo sitting in the dim light by the couch, drinking whiskey straight up. I’d woken up to an empty bed, which at five o’clock in the morning would have been fine. Theo was an early riser. But two in the morning? Nope. Something was wrong.

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