Page 29 of Kiss Me, Darling

She shrugged. “There was always something very special about those friendships. That time you all had together. Those are the kinds of memories you keep with you forever, the kinds of friendships that survive the trials and tribulations of life.”

It was a very special year of my life. All our lives. Clearly. “And what about me? Are you saying Lucy isn’t my love? There was another there that day at the lightning strike I have to find?”

“No. Not at all. You were always a little more independent than your brothers. Always more aloof. You have your own path and you always will. The one thing I’ve always seen in you is that stubbornness. I think that day blew you down this path you’ve been on. This lonely, lonely path. As if youmustbe alone. You went to Hollywood alone.”

“And made a lot of mistakes. Caused a whole heap of problems for myself.”

She took my hand and shook it, demanding that I turn and face her, just like when I was little and about to get a lecture. “Problems can be fixed. Overcome. You’ve done that. Over and over again. So, if I were to give you an answer to the lightning tree prophecy it would be this: your love was cursed until you could find yourself again. That lovely little boy who got in trouble with his brothers, who didn’t take himself too seriously, who lived his lifewithhis family? You had to find your way back to believing in possibilities, love and life.”

“So the curse—if there ever was one—is lifted?”

Her lips curved at the corners and her eyes twinkled. “Believe what you want to believe, but the cards say yes.”

Oh, Grandma Kaine and her cards. “Well that’s a relief.” It nagged at me all summer. My brothers knew what they wanted, they went after their goals, they fell in love. All while I was stuck. Like my feet were caught in wet cement and time to escape was ticking. I think, just like Grandma said, I clutched at the prophecy hoping it would give me answers.

And now I had some.

“There’s something else,” she said very quietly. “Something is weighing on you. It’s the last anchor holding you back. What is it?”

I fidgeted, tinking the ice in my glass, watching the bubbles fizz to the surface and disappear. She was right, of course. Grandmas and their all knowing wisdom. But finding a way to explain this feeling was hard. Almost as hard as trying to write down what I thought instead of speaking it out loud.

“I’ll start,” she said. “You’re...sad, but it’s more than that. The way you look at Lucy is...regretful? Yes. You seem to have regrets. And guilt.”

Damn she was good. I sighed as the words inside me started to loosen and find their way to my tongue. “Why do you love me? And I don’t mean that you just like me because I’m your grandkid. Youloveme. I can feel how much you care and I adore you for it, but I don’t deserve it. I’ve been selfish and careless.”

She stared at me with an eyebrow raised. “And?”

And?And! How could she stand there acting like my bad choices didn’t matter? “Grandma...I wasn’t the man you and Mom and Dad raised me to be. I...I took drugs. A lot of drugs. And when I was high...I did things.”

“Did you hurt anyone?” She asked bluntly.

“There are lines. Grey lines. No I didn’t intentionally hurt anyone, but none of us were thinking clearly. We partied. We partied hard.”

Her eyes softened. “Do I wish you’d made better choices? Absolutely. But I can’t punish you any more than you’ve already punished yourself. You learned. You grew. That’s what matters in the end.”

That was it? That’s all she had to say? Where was my lecture? The disapproval? I wanted her to be mad at me and tell me how much she hated me. But she didn’t. She stood there, calm as ever, with nothing but love in her eyes. “How can you forgive me?” I whispered. “Not care about all the horrible things I’ve done?”

Her eyes traveled over my face. “Time is the gift of age. Scott, when I look at you I don’t see just you as you are now. I see all of you. The baby I held in the hospital. The toddler who peed in my garden. The teenager who unpacked my groceries. I see you now as the smart, emotional star who loves audiences. And I see the man you’ll be one day when you’re in my shoes, looking across the kitchen counter athisgrandchild, seeing him for all he is at once.”

* * *

We had a nice,quiet visit. No interruptions at all. No stalkers making appearances either. I kind of wished this person would do something. The sitting around and waiting for something to happen was almost as bad as worrying about the potential dangers.

“Are we going the right direction?” Lucy peered out the window.

There were no road signs that I could see, but I was pretty sure I knew where I was going. “Pull out your phone and check for me.” Better to be safe than sorry.

“Oh no.” She shook her phone. “It’s dead. Is there a charging cable in here?” She rummaged through the console but came up empty. “Stupid rental car!”

Since I didn’t actually live on the island I didn’t have a car. I rented one from the island car rental place when I needed to go somewhere off island. If I was just running errands I could usually borrow Ben or Chris’s. I didn’t even think to grab a charging cable.

“Here use mine.” I leaned to the left and dug into my jeans pocket.

But nothing was there.

I shifted in the opposite direction and checked my left front and back pockets. I only had my wallet. “I don’t know where my phone is.”

“Pull over. Maybe it fell out somewhere.”

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