Seth sighed. “Finally. The way it was always supposed to be.” He took another sip from the beer bottle and set it on the ground beside his lounge chair.
After the game we went with most of the team to Rusty’s to celebrate, but neither of us was feeling it. Too much noise, too many bodies. So we came back to my place, grabbed some beer, and decided to sit out back and stare at the moon. It was nice to be quiet, but not alone.
I’d been feeling the loneliness lately. Which was weird because I was almost never alone.
“What are you going on about?”
Seth shrugged. “You, me, and Isaac. We were supposed to be here all along, and now you two numbnuts are finally here.”
It was strange to think back to college, back when I still thought it was a foregone conclusion that I’d be a Major League pitcher. We all thought we were on the cusp of conquering the damn world. And even though my life had not taken that path, I wound up here in the end anyway.
Life was fucking weird like that.
“We’re finally here and it feels like you’ve got one foot out the door.”
Seth shrugged again. “I dunno. I’ve been a moody bastard lately.”
“Not enough supermodels to stroke your ego these days?” Seth and I were always tight, but I stayed far, far away from his dating life. The way he churned through women after Lori didn’t sit well with me.
“Fucker.” He picked the bottle back up, chugged, set it back down. “Just…just couldn’t keep living like that. Had some things happen that made me realize I wasn’t actually happy and maybe I should figure that out.”
Well that was damn good to hear. Seth would always be my friend, but I didn’t particularly like him much these days. Maybe there were hints of my old friend still in there after all. “Any ideas?” I was happy. So damn happy. Hell, I was high as a kite on adrenaline. I didn’t think I’d come down any time soon, either. I pitched like I was on fire. It felt good. It felt right. I couldn’t imagine having done this for years, had as much success as Seth had, plus all the money and fame, and not be happy.
That was fucking insane.
The pool in front of us glowed, the automated cleaner crawling around on the bottom sucking up shit, moving as mindlessly as I’d moved for the last few years. It was like someone had flipped on my autopilot and put me to work. Now I felt alive and I would never go back.
Seth groaned as he stood up and stretched. “Isaac says I need a new dream. A new goal. I think he’s right. For so long I’ve been fed by the need to succeed, to be better than anyone else, and now that I’ve done it, I don’t have that same fire anymore.”
“What’s up with that anyway? You weren’t like that in college. You just loved to play. You didn’t need to annihilate everyone.”
“Yeah well, turns out loving the game wasn’t enough. I had a point to prove and I proved it. Now I need to move on. It’s late. I’m gonna head out.” He held out his hand.
I smacked it and shook it. A point to prove? Something had happened after college that I didn’t know about. Something that changed my best friend. Something he wouldn’t share with me. Which meant it had to be big.
“Drive safe, man.”
“I only had the one beer. I’m good.”
Seth disappeared around the side of the house just as the lights in Isaac’s room flipped on. His curtains and blinds were all wide open so I had a very clear view of Kate warily entering the room first.
My brother finally had the balls to go for it. Good for him. “Cheers to the happy couple.” I held up my beer bottle in salute, then finished it off before slipping back into my own room so Isaac and Kate could have their privacy. I closed my own blinds and pulled the curtains. Music played softly from my speakers as I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed.
I couldn’t think of a more perfect match for Isaac. Kate was awesome. Funny and smart and really nice. Isaac needed someone to logically pull him out of his sense of duty and loyalty. Don’t get me wrong, those are amazing qualities to have, but Isaac let them paralyze him more often than he should. I already saw how Kate rocked his world. I knew without a doubt she’d get along with Rosie. She was like the missing piece in the Isaac puzzle.
As happy as I was, as excited as I was to pitch again, thinking about Kate and Isaac as I got into bed with my book left me feeling weird. An ache very different from excitement sat in my gut. I didn’t like it. I liked it even less as I tried to identify it and realized it was jealousy. Not a lot. Just enough to make me realize that what Kate and Isaac had was what I wanted too.
I wanted someone who made me smile. I wanted to make someone else smile. I had all this energy and no one to share it with. I would always have my teammates, but that wasn’t the same as having someone sitting beside me right now. Someone to live my life with.
I was alone in this big, expensive bedroom.
And I didn’t like it at all.
18
Kate
I held my breath as Isaac rocked my world. They weren’t me. Boldly stating his confidence in us. It was sexy as hell. “Well all right then.”