Page 148 of The One With the Mountain Man

"Ugh, I know." She tossed her bag in the trunk and slammed it shut. "I love my job, I do. I just wish it was a little less exhausting and a little more flexible."

Or that her ex-husband wasn't a weak, sniveling piece of shit. I pulled my sister in for a hug. Inside, Gus squealed and Marley laughed and my heart squeezed.

"You should propose as soon as humanly possible, big bro."

"I already did."

Karis froze, then pushed away, her mouth hanging open. "You'reengaged?"

"We are."

She tackled me in another hug that shook me to my bones. "Oh my god! Congratulations! I'm so happy right now! I give you full permission to make those faces at each other all the time."

I laughed. "Thank you."

She took me by the shoulders. "No, but seriously, thank you for giving me another sister. I know I have a few already, but none of them are writing my favorite fantasy series right now and I really appreciate you bringing that in-house."

"You're welcome?"

"Does this mean I get to read it before anyone else? Will I get to pull that string?"

I opened her car door. "Why don't you go on vacation?"

"Okay, sure, fine. I'll ask when I get back. Don't have any engagement parties without me! Not even beers at the saloon on Friday! I need to be part of it. Oh, and don't even think about eloping! Mom and Nora may never speak to you again, but you're having a real wedding with every single one of us loud, meddling siblings that still love you, okay?"

My chest ached and a lot of emotions I wasn't sure about hit me at once. "No weddings or parties without you. No problem. We haven't even set a date."

"See ya!" She slammed her door and took off, leaving me numb and reeling.

Mom and Nora may never speak to you again.Well, yeah. They were firmly team Huk Is The Problem. And I barely spoke to them in the last decade anyway. So no loss there.

No, it was the rest of her statement. Theevery single one of us loud, meddling siblingsbut mostly thethat still love you.

It simultaneously filled and emptied my chest. They were loud and they were meddling, but they were mine. For a long time I didn't know how to handle that, other than to be the distant big brother who took care of things. I didn't think I could manage being around themandmy parents. I could handle loud and meddlingorI could manage the disappointment of my parents. Not both. Now that one variable was out of the equation, I could solve it.

I wanted them all at our wedding. Ineededthem to be part of it. No question.

But the other part.That still love you.It was the sucker punch. The reminder that I was only lovable to certain people. If I wanted my parents love it required me to be fit into their expectations. It was conditional. And that wasn't love at all.

I stepped back into the house and stared at Marley laughing and playing freely with Gus, who threw himself into her arms and babbled away about dogs and Bluey. I loved them both unconditionally. With my whole heart, giving it away with both hands.

That was the best part. The very best part.Givingthe love. Yes, it was heart stopping to be loved that way, to be smothered in the outpouring and to feel the security that no matter what mistakes you made, that love wasn't going away. It wouldn't be throttled or held over you until you performed a series of tricks. It was absolutely amazing to be loved like that.

But I was quickly realizing that the real satisfaction came from doing the loving. It was most obvious with Marley, but now that I was allowing myself to freely love my siblings, it was a firehose I couldn't turn off and didn't want to. I enjoyed being there for them. Maybe that's why I was so putout about being kept in the dark about Karis's trip. I wanted to love all over her and Gus, and everyone else. I wanted to make sure they lived happy, healthy, fulfilling lives.

I joined Gus and Marley on the floor and was immediately knocked over by a Gus tackle-and-tickle ambush. I tickled him right back and then lifted him into the air making ridiculous airplane noises. While I played with my nephew Marley made up a snack of one of those pouches he loved sucking the life out of, a cup of blueberries, and some Goldfish crackers.

I stole a few bites when he wasn't looking. "Karis says congratulations, by the way."

She smiled, so full of love and happiness. So very different from the panicking woman who stopped my heart, thank fuck. "I'm excitedly nervous to tell everyone. Charley is going to flip!"

"I've already been threatened. No eloping."

She hummed. "How long is the engagement? Are we planning on the engaged forever thing and then one day we surprise everyone with a party that's really our wedding ten years down the line?"

Oh hell no. "I was thinking more along the lines of next month. At Golden Hour. Family and close friends only."

"That's very fast."

---