Page 58 of Hit For Six
‘Yes, it would appear that she’s been keeping tabs on the pair of us.’
‘You’re a fine one to talk in your underwear.’ Joanna dropped some bread in the toaster, no intention of paying heed to Monty’s instructions. ‘Like I’ve said before when we met up after your training, I’m happy to come to an arrangement. Just until you know which one of us you want.’
Now Joanna hopped on a bar stool, swivelled around and tossed her head back to laugh. Monty had to steady himself against the farthest worktops. Lola remained worrying close to the door.
‘Last warning, Joanna. Go now or I will call the police. And quit stalking Lola and myself. We’re a couple. You need to grow up and get over it.’
‘But I can’t go yet.’ Joanna rubbed her eyes to feign the wiping of tears as the spinning came to a stop. ‘I haven’t told you about the very intriguing time I spent in New York recently on a business trip.’ She steepled her fingers and leant across the island, her underwear somehow keeping everything in place whilst leaving even less to the imagination. Monty and Lola crossed their arms over their chests in tandem.
‘We don’t care,’ said Monty.
‘Oh, I think you will. My flight was delayed you see, and I got chatting to a lovely fellow Englishman, as you do. A lovely fellow Englishman who’d just lost his job because of somebody playing the female card in his workplace.’ She drummed her manicured fingers on the island and Monty knew he could never eat there again. ‘It’s not very pleasant when the shoe is on the other foot, is it Lola? Julian gave me the lowdown on Harry, how easy he’d be to fool. I was all too happy to help him out. Two birds, one stone.Oopsie, you’ll want to start looking for a new job right about now. Celebrate and Commiserate been greedy and given itself alittle bitof a cash flow crisis.’
Where was a dictaphone when he needed one? This was going to be catastrophic for Lola. Monty could only imagine the size of that order and the way it might bring the company down if Joanna didn’t pay up.
‘He told you to get out,’ Lola replied, scarily level-headed, not even flinching at Joanna’s revelation. ‘And I’m telling you that I know all about your drone that was spying on us last night.’
But Joanna didn’t seem remotely phased.
‘Wasn’t it a juicy piece of evidence I recorded for Mummy and Daddy? Their golden boy screwing the common slut in the games room. It reminded me of a game of Cluedo. Except, you won’t be able to pin any of this crime on me because I have now become the key to you keeping your inheritance, Montgomery. So, here’s the deal: ditch the poor girl and put a ring on my finger… or else.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Lola
‘Do your worst,’said Monty, somehow retaining his cool as he and Lola also somehow managed to push Joanna out of the large front door with the aid of a mop and a broom, throwing one of his mother’s tartan picnic blankets after her so she could cover up.
‘I don’t think you understand. That wasn’t a threat, it was a promise!’ she screeched.
Joanna pulled the blanket around her as if she was a Scottish superhero and packed herself into her sportscar, frowning heavily as she buckled herself in. The sounds of nature filled the air as they waited for her car to start up the engine and vanish into the ether; birds twittering away as if this was a routine morning in Upper Badminton.
‘I’m stunned. Please tell me we were sleepwalking down the stairs and this is a strange tandem nightmare,’ mumbled Lola, unsure if such a phenomenon existed.
‘How I wish I could.’
‘We’re going to need a vat of coffee to dissect this morning.’
Joanna put her foot to the pedal, making Lola jump.
‘You and me both. What a nightmare. I don’t know where Bea picks her friends up these days. They get progressively worse.’ Monty sighed. ‘This has been my life for the longest time. Maybe my family is running an undercover dating agency and I’ve only just figured it out. I’ve been a pushover for so long. Is this the way it is in every family for all the little brothers?’
‘How would I know?’ Lola let out a ragged breath, her nerves frayed. ‘If she hadn’t tried to con me in London, you would have looked like a thoroughly guilty man.’
Joanna’s car screeched its brakes, making Lola jump again as the woman hopped out, marching back towards the pair of them on the doorstep as if to start up round two. Monty put his arm around Lola, pulling her close.
‘What the-?’ he shouted, as Joanna stopped at his car, scraping a key along the paintwork of his beloved Polo and causing incalculable amounts of damage in the blink of an eye.
‘Ha!’ She fist pumped the air in triumph, got back into her vehicle and drove away.
***
‘I’m so sorry,Lola. This is such a mess,’ Monty finally broke the silence once they’d retreated to the kitchen and securely bolted the door. ‘Let’s get rid of every trace of her presence and I’ll make you as many coffees and pancakes as your heart desires. Then we’ll drive back to Bath.’
‘I’m not sure I can stomach food just yet. I can still hear that key running along the shiny red paintwork.’ She winced. ‘But yes, caffeine is a must.’
Lola held out a hand in front of her while Monty’s back was turned, she couldn’t stop shaking. And she realised this wasn’t solely down to Joanna. The anticipation of Monty’s parents finding her here, in a place where she didn’t belong, had been building all night.
Meanwhile, the man who was shaking up all of their lives paced around the island, deep in thought as the coffee machine whirred into action. He’d be doing that till the end of time. There was only one logical answer and Lola needed to put him out of his misery.
