Page 14 of Hollywood Crush

I knew why. It was because he was gorgeous, and not just on the outside like you would expect Hollywood stars to be. But on the inside too. I loved the way his smile had lit up as I’d talked about my own passions and as he had eaten the food I had made. If I could, I’d keep the man. But I couldn’t.And sleeping with him was highly unprofessional. What if he complained to production? Would they take all their business and investment from the hotel? We had both drunk a little bit, but what if he said I had taken advantage of him?

I sat upright, trying to get my breathing under control. I hadn’t had a panic attack since…well, a while. I had so many coping mechanisms like breathing deep to get my heart rate under control, but now each breath seemed to make the problem even worse. The deeper the breath I took, the harder it was to take another, and I felt like I wasn’t taking in enough oxygen.

I could feel the edges of my vision flickering, and hard as it was, I knew I had to get myself under control.What if you faint now in bed with this guy?The rational part of my brin supplied, but that just made things worse. Until I felt a warm hand rubbing little circles on my lower back.

“Hey,” said Daniel quietly. He sat up next to me and continued to rub his hand across my naked back. “What’s up?”

The lack of anger or regret in his voice helped to calm me down a bit. Maybe this wasn’t my career, livelihood and hotel on the line. Maybe we could just pretend none of this had ever happened.

“There we go,” said Daniel. His hand moved absently up my back, tickling my spine and resting on my shoulders. “What’s up. What’s brought this on?”

“Nothing, don’t worry,” I replied.

“Well I do worry. And I won’t stop worrying til you tell me what’s going on.”

“Well…” I started, not sure what to say. But then the door slammed open with some ferocity.

My mother strode into the room, not even looking at us as she walked over to the curtains and wrenched them open. “Come on, your alarm must have gone off ages ago! And you left the conservatory in a hell of a state last…” she trailed off. She had turned toward us, now sitting in a patch pf blazing sunlight on the bed. “I see.” Her tone was clipped and I knew she was forcing down a wave of anger. “Meet me in the conservatory…when you feel up to it.”

She left the room, slamming the door shut behind her. “Shit, shit,shit!” I said. I stood up and started pulling my clothes on - jeans from the floor, a fresh shirt from my wardrobe.

“Gonna leave me stranded, dude?” Daniel asked. He gave a quirky, lopsided grin that I was sure worked wonders in Hollywood. I remembered then that his clothes were covered in red wine and that he might have to pass a hundred of his work colleagues on his way back to his room.

“Shit, sorry.” I took a pair of joggers and a t-shirt that saidAll I Want for Christmas is a Sugar Daddythat Glyn the baker had thought was hilarious when he bought it one Christmas. Unsurprisingly, it had very rarely been worn. “Don’t ask,” I said asDaniel chuckled.

I didn’t’t know what to do about him as an immediate problem, but I knew we had to talk about thissomehow.

“When do you finish shooting today?” I asked.

“It’s my day off,” replied Daniel.

“Great. Could you meet me at…” I checked my phone for the time. “Twelve o clock, in main reception? I’d like to talk over all this. If that’s OK with you.”

“Sure thing.” Daniel smiled form where he lay still naked in my bed.

“Let yourself out whenever you like,” I said. I closed the door and sighed. I knew this was going to be a fun one to go over with my mother now, and didn’t have any idea how I was going to approach it.

I headed down the corridor to the conservatory, anxiety growing with every step. I knew what had happened last night was a bad idea in and of itself. I knew even more that Mam would not just see it as a bad idea but as a complete betrayal.

I opened the door and made sure it was closed behind me. I hadn’t seen any of the crew use the gym, so they wouldn’t have a reason to be at this end of the hotel. Still, it couldn’t hurt to avoid anyone hearing.

Mam was sweeping away the broken glass from the smashed wine glasses. A deep red stain permeated the concrete floor. “Let me,” I said, but Mam snatched away the brush. “You can try andfix the floor,” she said. She kept sweeping until she was satisfied and then gestured at the stain and the cleaning stuff she had brought. I dutifully got to work on the stain, scrubbing at it with an old cloth.

“I’m-” Mam started, but I cut her off. I had been expecting a tirade.

“Very annoyed, I know. Furious, in fact. And I know that because I’m furious too. How could I be so fucking stupid as to sleep with a customer? A VIP nonetheless? And after everything Dad did to you, falling just a little for someone who’s going to take off and leave the village is ridiculous. I know. I agree. And I know I’ve fucked up, OK? I know I have. And I’m sorry. And I’m going to fix it.”

Mam looked thunderstruck. She took my hand in hers. “I was going to say, I’m sorry for barging in on you like that earlier after you’ve previously told me not to. But the rest is a little bit of an overreaction, aye?”

“Oh. Sorry. You’re…not annoyed?”

“Lovely boy, I am. But you’re quite obviously old enough to know when you’ve done something wrong. And if you want to keep doing things wrong…that’s on you. This is your hotel, not mine. And you’re going to live with the consequences if your actions take it to the ground.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so just kept scrubbing. My ears and cheeks were burning. Mam was usually much more brusque and upfront with her feelings so I didn’t really know how to take thissudden subtlety.

“Was last night the first time?” she asked after a moment.

“Yes.”

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