Page 39 of Hollywood Crush

I shook my head.

“And what do you want to do with your life? Do you want to keep acting? Directing? Writing?” Stacey rubbed comforting circles into my palm as I thought.

“I genuinely don’t know,” I said. “I’ve had so little chance to think about my own present and future that I’ve never had chance to think about it. I’ve got no friends, hardly any family, and I…” and then I knew I needed to say it out loud, almost hoping Stacey would tell me I was crazy. “I need some time off. To be me, Danny. Not to be some global star or shilling other people’s products. I need Tudor.”

“Thank God you worked that one out, love. We’ve all been waiting for it.”

“All?”

“TV sets. Rumours fly, people gossip.”

I felt the corners of my mouth tug up. Tudor might not be interested in a life with me, but there was something to be said for trying. “I don’t have my phone, I don’t know how to contact him. I don’tknow his number, I…”

And then it all slotted together. All my potential solutions came at once like some kind of whirlwind. Well, the beginnings of solutions anyway. To live a more authentic life. For the man who had asked me to.

“Can I borrow your phone, please?” I asked Stacey.

“Are you going to call him?” she asked.

“Something like that.”

Stacey passed me her phone and I used it to log into my Instagram account. There were hundreds of notifications, but a quick browse through my messages showed that many had been opened and not responded to. I would need to have Sandra and her assistant's access to it revoked as soon as I could. Instead of searching through the many messages to see if Tudor had reached out, as it would feel way too painful if he hadn’t, I moved my finger over toward the ‘Live’ section.

I steeled myself as I saw my own visage on screen. I looked rough, and not in a ruggedly handsome kind of way. More in anoh my god he’s going to mug me and buy crystal methkind of way. After a second of hesitation over my ugly mug, I pressed my finger to the button. Instagram counted down from3, 2, 1and I was live to the world.

“Hi guys,” I started. “Hope everyone’s doing good. Thanks so much for all the well-wishes and support that’s been sent my way.”

I already had a hundred people tuning in, some of whom were sending messages of support, shock at my face or seemingly random emojis.

“I just wanted you all to know I’m fine. And that I’m recovering, and that with good care from the doctors here I’ll be alright. I’ve hurt my head…” I turned my head to show the ugly scar, then turned the camera briefly to my plaster cast foot before turning back to myself.

“Thing is, it’ll be a road to recovery. And I don’t want to hide that from anyone. I’m so used to being the perfect Daniel Ellison that I’m afraid to show myself on camera to people as I am. And I’m working on that. I know people who will hold me accountable now they’ve heard me say that.” I thought of Tudor’s judgement when he first saw me running a sponsored post before continuing. “And I want to be honest with you in one final way. You might have seen a relationship of mine plastered across the tabloids. In reality, even that was a lie. And I’m sorry to admit that it was, but I was doing as I was told to promote an upcoming film.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like Patrick. He’s kind, funny, good looking and a great person to be around. But there’s a guy or girl out there for him, and it isn’t me. The truth is, I’m in love with someone. And I haven’t even told them yet. I hope they’re watching this, but if not, you are all my witnesses. Whilst filmingThrones of BloodI fell in love with a fantastic man. I won’t name him orwhat he does, as it’s not fair to him to drag him into this crazy world. But if you’re watching, I love you. And I’m coming to you.

“But first, to all of you out there watching, this is my pledge to be honest with you from now on. Less of the artifice, more of the real Daniel. Thank you for listening.”

I switched off the stream and put the phone down. The screen said that the stream had grown to over a hundred thousand viewers by the end. Perhaps one of them was Tudor. “Do you think that worked?” I asked Stacey.

“For you, or for Tudor?” she asked with a small smile.

“Well, me…and Tudor. Both.”

“I think you were honest, and though it sounds easy that can be an incredibly hard thing to be,” Stacey said. “And as for Tudor…why don’t you ask him yourself?”

She nodded towards the door behind me, and there he was. Like a dream in a dark red shirt, flyaway blonde hair sticking up in every direction. His expression was completely inscrutable.

I immediately felt inadequate. It was all well and good saying those words out loud into the ether. It was another when the most beautiful man I’d ever met looked at me like this. I turned away from him rather than look him in the eye, but I heard his purposeful strides around the end of the bed. One finger hooked under my chin and pulled my gaze upto his. I looked into those eyes, beautiful and blue as the Irish Sea.

“I love you too,” he said quietly.

“Even…looking like this?” I asked. It felt wrong, the way he looked at me even when I was at my worst.

“Would you like me any less if I broke an arm?” Tudor asked.

“Well, when you put it like that…”

Tudor pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek and I felt myself start to blush.

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